Actually, I wouldn't beat around the bush too much longer, either. You don't wanna rush it, no, but at the same time... How long has this been going on? It seems like it's been going on since before I fucking got here. The two of them don't deserve to be jerked around for too much longer, either.

[This shit is ridiculous, and it's giving him a headache. But he's stayed back and not gotten involved for far too long. As annoyed as he is with Dirk, he's just as concerned for his well being as he is Jane's. He knows what romantic shit is like, even if he hasn't dated much. It's stressful, and one of the reasons he did stop dating. It's far easier to have one night stands, after all. Relationships are just full of stress and hurt. Considering Dirk is basically a younger version of himself, the last thing he would want for the kid is to get hurt by all this shit. It's just a weird protectiveness he feels for him. And then there's Jane, who he's come to see in a weird way as like family. He doesn't want her hurt by it, either. If it's delayed too much longer, it'll just hurt all of them unnecessarily. So if he can make sure that isn't a thing, then he's going to fucking involve himself in order to prevent it.]

But I'll tell you one thing. You make your choice and you fucking stick to it. I'm not saying that you can't break up or whatever, no. That'd be stupid. But if you do, you don't fucking go to the one you didn't chose. So if you go for Dirk and you two end up not working out?

Then you better not go crawling to Jane. That's going to just make her feel like second best. No, whoever you chose, then you better let the other move the fuck on. Otherwise it's just not fair. You got that? If you don't, then me and you are going to have words. They won't be pretty.

I'm not threatening you, by the way. I just want you to know the seriousness of this shit. Feelings aren't something you just fucking toy with.