Christ, this shit has been going on longer than I thought. Three years. How the hell have you all not just imploded in on yourselves? I'm surprised Dirk's waited around this long. The kid must really fucking like you.

[Wow. Stop grinning. It's simultaneously endearing and annoying. In a totally not pervy way, because he's still shaken up from the whole Gamzee thing, he can maybe see what Dirk sees in Jake. He's cute, and a major goober. He likes those qualities in somebody himself.]

Excuse me? We're not that fucking similar, I don't know what you're talking about.

But good, you're right. They do. Don't let me down, man. Don't break more hearts than you need to.