[He's not laughing at all. He is completely serious about this, apparently.]
You were my little blond bundle of joy, or at least one of them since technically I had four. You loved me and I, you. You clung to the side of my head and everything like some kind of adorable little baby...duck-monkey. Like you were a monkey with the cuteness of a duckling or something. Or maybe a kitten? Kittens climb, right? That's totally what you were.
Dave "Kitten" Strider. That's your new middle name, I am giving it to you because I can. Because I made you, Dave. I made yoooooouuuuu.
[Dave, for the love of god get to the bedroom and drop him on the bed. And then run. Just run and pretend this conversation didn't happen. Pretend John isn't giggling while thrown over your shoulder right now.]
[Action]
[He's not laughing at all. He is completely serious about this, apparently.]
You were my little blond bundle of joy, or at least one of them since technically I had four. You loved me and I, you. You clung to the side of my head and everything like some kind of adorable little baby...duck-monkey. Like you were a monkey with the cuteness of a duckling or something. Or maybe a kitten? Kittens climb, right? That's totally what you were.
Dave "Kitten" Strider. That's your new middle name, I am giving it to you because I can. Because I made you, Dave. I made yoooooouuuuu.
[Dave, for the love of god get to the bedroom and drop him on the bed. And then run. Just run and pretend this conversation didn't happen. Pretend John isn't giggling while thrown over your shoulder right now.]