prank #44 | text

[ghostytrainer]

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e





holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

Comments

text;

[seasidecherry]

...are you okay? You didn't get hit with a Poison attack or some kind of weird Psychic thing, right?

[Nagisa is used to being awake at odd hours; she practices late. She sleeps late when she can, but she knows better than to get on the Gear this late normally.]

text;

[ghostytrainer]

iam 100% oki doki!!! totayl fine. :D
no poison or psychic thigs or werid pokemon screwing with me somehow. it's great.
just chilling out adn watching some movies.
how aobut you?

text -> video;

[seasidecherry]

Are you sure? You're making a lot of typos and you're kind of talking about weird things...

[She flips on the video, after a minute. Nagisa herself is in practice clothes she picked up on the cheap - she's leaning against a wall, a window showing Violet City behind her, in a blue t-shirt and some shorts, with a towel draped around her neck. Her Audino is with her, holding her water bottle for her; after a moment, it hands the bottle to Nagisa, tapping at the screen a little.]

I'm Nagisa Motomiya. I'm a singer and dancer, back home. I was up late practicing, and decided I'd check the Gear before getting a shower and some sleep.

[Voice]

[moveslikestrider]

Yeah ok, we can do the baking thing. But you're going to bed after that.

[Voice]

[ghostytrainer]

Fuck yes, I knew I could count on you!!! [John sounds... well borderline hysterical but there's a definite undertone of exhaustion to his words.] This is going to be so sweet.

Party till dawn and then just keep on going. Dude, duuuuuude hehehehe. Dave, Dave you have your gear right? We can totally have a jam session after we make pancakes. It'll be sweet.

[Fuck bed.]

text;

[impulsives]

...i think you need an intervention.

[says the guy awake at shit o' clock.]

text;

[ghostytrainer]

but i would hvae to be drunk for that or on drugs i guess?
and i am completly sober! i am too young to drink and drugs are hwack.
like the bad kind of whack. the whack yousay no to.
so no intervention needed!!!

text;

[punches]

You could fly?
Also what is this windy thingy?
And what was that about psychic Pokemon?

[ Maybe if she types in short bursts, he will too. A longshot, but Sakura's always up this late anyway due to her sleeping troubles. ]

text;

[ghostytrainer]

yes, i could fly. it was one ofthe totally sweet perks of ebing god tier in my world.
the windy thing was another perk! though it was something only i cold do. all god tiers could fly but sa the heir of breath, my powers dealt with winf!
it's different for everybody though, dpending on you rtitle and whaatever.
like my best firend is the knight of time so he can do all sorts of timey-wimey nonsense. which is cool but not a s cool as mine because the windy thing was totally boss.
i could become the wind if i wantd to! like literally just...FWOOSH! suddenly gone.
but it had other uses too. like i could make giant tornados. and mini tornnadoes. tornadoes of all sizes!!! through planets with these thigns if i wanted to.
and not your regular old boring tornados either. i could drill
and i could make things fly.
like cars and sshit. anything i wanted to, i just had to will the eind to do it and bam.
LIFDOFF!!!!

and psychic pokemon can talk to you! some of them, anyway.
like my xatu couldn't do it before he evovlde but he can now. not that he's really the talkative type...
like in your mind. it's cool but... you're kind of limited. and if you want to talk to your non-sychics, you have to use them a a go-between.
so it's not really the same as beign an actual psychic yourself, you know?

[Sorry, Sakura, but sleep deprivation has activated his ramble mode. It was a nice attempt though.]

Audio the next morning

[neededlassie]

[Shaun sounds worried and confused.]

John...? Are you okay? Maybe I shouldn't have called in case you got to go to sleep but...

I didn't read all your message because it was really long, but I think you need to go to bed.

Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping too, though, so I understand.

[Mostly when it rains, but still.]

Audio (sorry this took so long i needed a better idea of what john was doing)

[ghostytrainer]

[It's not until the early afternoon that John replies. Dave did finally manage to convince him to sleep, and for the first time since Rose left, John managed to stay asleep for more than an hour.]

[But not much longer, let's not get carried away here. Long enough for him to at least go back to his typical somewhat-rational state of mind, but not nearly long enough to make up for all the sleep he's missed. He still sounds a little tired when he calls back.]

Hey, Shaun. Sorry about that, I'm fine. I don't even remember half the shit I said myself so it's probably better that you didn't read it.

I did get a little sleep though so I am better now.

[Only not really. SBURB nightmares woke him up again and Rose is still an entire city away. He's still not sure why dreaming about these things is so much worse than actually reliving the memories in the dreambubbles but he's also not devoting too much thought to figuring it out.]

[usedshooshpap]

John, I am suffering some second hand embarrassment. Please, dear god please, shut the fuck up.

What is it humans say... Check yourself before you wreck yourself. That applies, right?

[ghostytrainer]

I am so checked right now. No wrecking over here! This is a strictly no-wreck zone.

[Except that one look at him is more than enough to make it obvious that this isn't the case. Were it not for the blue-ish light of an off-screen TV casting a spooky glow on John, he would be sitting in complete darkness. He's sitting on the bed, surrounded by pillows with the blanket pulled up over his head like a hood. His eyes have a hollowed look to them, dark circles already beginning to form from the days' worth of neglected sleep. He's smiling, but whether it's the lack of sleep or the TV-light or some weird combination of both, it's just seems wrong. It's forced, and altogether too fragile of a smile for John.]

[Aside from John though, there doesn't appear to be any other living thing in the room. Which is weird considering he always has at least one Pokémon hanging off him or at his side at all times.]

Everything is hunky dory, Karkat! Nothing to be embarrassed about!

text

[melodicnocturne]

Y'know, psychic pokémon are actually pretty awesome.
My starter is psychic. I've never met any other pokémon nearly as smart as he is.
Plus, he translates for me. Like.
I know what the others want to tell me or think about what's going on because he can translate it.
And then think it to me. THAT IS SO COOL THOUGH.
Being able to do that on my own would be awesome though. I agree.
Also I don't get Fly either, I could ask though.
I mean, if you're serious.

text

[ghostytrainer]

i wasn't saying they arne't! not as cool as ghosts, mind you, but still pretty awesome.
my xatu and mr.mime do the same thing but it's jst not the same.
if i were psychic myself, i wouldn't need the go-betwen. :(
and i could talk to all of them whnever i wanted, regardles of whethr or not my pychics are int the box.

i was completely serious.
maybe i shold have asked oen of my own. but for some reason i just thougt it would make more sens to ask like... you know when you're actually using the tm?
which seems sillt now that i think about it.
what was i thinkig?

[You weren't, John. And that's the problem here.]

text;

[tentacletrainer]

Sweetie.
How much sleep have you been getting?

text;

[ghostytrainer]

ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and here i was benigning to think you forgot about me!
i miss you.
but hye what do you think of panCAKES?
dpendingon how this goes, i miiiiiight make you some when we meeet back up.
maybe it wlil depend. ;)

[He's still every bit as Not Okay as he was when he failed to send Rose his "good night" text. But he's on probably his fifth or sixth second wind now and he's just so happy to see that familiar shade of purple that he can't help but babble like an idiot and completely avoid the question.]

[eclectictype]

omg
john
GO TO BED
you are doing that thing again

[ghostytrainer]

no! bed doesn't solve anything it jst makes things worse, ok?
(and your'e not my mom so suck it)
(but not literaly)
(no incesto)

what thing am i doing though i dind't know i was doing A Thing.

That Thing.

whatiis The Thing, jade?

This Thing thay i am doign?

[islandshore]

You know what's even crazier? Some Pokémon that can't learn fly can still fly you around, like Garchomp. And then you've got bugs like Scyther and Butterfree who have wings but for some reason can't learn the attack while Volcarona can.

What's with the huge text dump, anyway?

[ghostytrainer]

that nver made sense to me. evenin the games.
scyther and buttrfree, i mean.
THEY HAVE WINGS. OBVOISLY THEY CAN FLY????

idk just feeling kinda talkative tonight, i geuss.
how's it goign, riku?

text;

[timelymaid]

i miss flying too :(
also im afraid you cant do the time warp john
thats reserved for dave and i only!!!

just kidding

why are you up
cant sleep either?

Re: text;

[ghostytrainer]

i gsues it's not a total loss? i mean we have our pkemon.
so we can still FLY it's juts...not the same. :(
also yeah, you bettr be kiddign!
remember what i said? when i wkoe up?
totally learned to do the time wrap back home.
even thouh i am a windy guy.
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

i can slepp.
i am just choosing not to. because i am not tierd.

text

[healium]

John?
Go to sleep.
I swear I can hear your fingers tapping from my room.

[More like she can't sleep either but tossing and turning around all night is her preferred option of attempting.]

text

[ghostytrainer]

dave's oever here now though!
can't sleep.
gonan make cake pancaks.