ghostytrainer | prぁn◙￻￻￻ $43 | ￻acti♂n FORWARD-DATED TO SATURDAY 6/8

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prぁn◙￻￻￻ $43 | ￻acti♂n FORWARD-DATED TO SATURDAY 6/8

[Hello everyone, what are you up to this fine summer evening? Out training perhaps? Playing with your Pokémon? Sitting down to a delicious dinner? Maybe doing a little shopping before all the stores close?]

[Well whatever you're doing, no matter how much you are minding your own business, you may soon find yourself with a +1.]

[Aren't glitches fun?]

[John has no idea what's going on, one minute he was in the middle of his anniversary dinner with Rose and the next, he's lord only knows where with whoever "you" happen to be. Not that "you" aren't good company, and all! But it's kind of rude to leave your significant other in the middle of a date. But the worst part?]

[It keeps happening.]

[Whatever is doing this isn't content to let him stay in one place for very long. He keeps disappearing and reappearing with a quiet "zap!" every few of minutes, sometimes appearing back at the restaurant and other times appearing someplace else entirely. Dammit, can't a guy just eat in peace? This is terrible.]

[Why on Earth did he box that weird Pokémon he caught last night... better yet, why did he catch it at all?!]

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[He calls out Bro. The Salamence stretches out on the roof like he's posing ironically and Dave hops up onto his back with a hand extended out to John.]

Let's get this show on the road. Come on, faster you do this. Faster you can be a free man.

Thank you, Dave. [He takes the offered hand, pulling himself up onto the Salamence and quickly letting go and sitting down.]

Not that I don't love holding your hand man, but that seems to be a good way to get dragged along for the ride in case I don't make it all the way to the center. I lost a few forks that way tonight...

[A moment of silence for the forks that went down in battle against the glitch... they truly died a hero's death.]

[They were great heroes. The moment of silence is observed and Dave makes a perfect rendition of a bass drop with his mouth. Bro (he even has the right eyewear), spreads his wings with a drumming of his feet and walks to the edge of the roof.]

Hold on tight he likes to jump off without warning. [Like an asshole. Bro creeps to the edge and leans, and leans, and to be an asshole leans some more before Dave makes a sharp sound. He snorts, and leaps into the sky, soaring over the buildings in a zig-zag flight pattern.]

[John sits down and... okay just where the fuck is he supposed to hold on? And more importantly, can he even or will that drag the Salamence along for the ride and potentially send Dave to the same fate of one of John's forks?]

[As he's puzzling this out, Bro jumps into the sky and ends up making the decision for John. He grabs hold tight of the tail, still keeping his body on Bro's back. It'll be a quick flight, please don't zap out please don't zap out please...]

[Bro soars at incredible speed so the trip only takes a minute. He dives and lands right before the doors with nary a bump in his landing. Dave slides off his back in one fluid movement.] Still here, John?

Yes, thank you and brb hopefully, bye.

[The words come out of his mouth in a jumble as John kind of falls sideways off of Bro's tail and dashes into the Pokécenter, still sopping wet.]

[WILL HE MAKE IT TO THE PC IN TIME???]

[Yes, he will, because thankfully at this time of night, there aren't really a ton of people clamoring to access the PCs.]

[He emerges, triumphantly with pokéball in hand, about a minute later.]

And with this I think it's time to say adieu! [He winds the ball up.] So long, goodbye, farewell, and [Toss!!]

SCREW YOU!!!

[It's a sign of just how fed up and tired of all this John is that he's opted to pull some kind of rude Dr. Seuss in order to set this thing free. Not only that, but to once the Shiny Haunter pops out of the ball with a mad cackle that sounds something like a skipping record, he actually starts yelling at the thing.]

[Level 2 Egbertian fit detected: he's flailing and yelling at things in the sky. ~~At least this something is actually real...~~]

You heard me! Get lost! I don't know what you are but-- [John cuts off as the Haunter makes a strange, garbled, almost demonic sounding noise, turns into a jumble of pixels and disappears, leaving John gaping. After about a minute, he turns to face Dave, still looking stunned.]

You saw that too, right? Like I'm not cracking up here or anything?

[If the tasmanian devil, specifically the cartoon version, were real Dave has a feeling his fits would look like what he just witnessed. Through it all he merely watched. But at the start he'd tapped the record feature on his gear. If he'd had his camera, he'd have taken photos and labeled them 'lan piranA'. Bro and Dave both have neutral expressions with one eyebrow raised.] That depends, Kemosabi. Are you going to rain dance again if I say yes?

Haha, funny! I am choosing to take that as a yes. Also that was a victory dance, not a rain dance. There's a difference!

Victory dances involve fist pumping and cries of victory. That was all out an angry bird hop or land piranha attack. [He motions to his dragon and hops back on.] We going back now or what?

Unless you want to stop and grab something to eat. There's a good taco place just down the road. Which is weird because this place doesn't have mexico or spain or an arizona or new mexico.

No it was totally a victory dance. That's how we do it in Washington, stop being so... stateually ignorant and insensitive.

[Yeah, Dave, stop being a dick.]

I think I will have to take you up on tacos tomorrow night. Right now I just want to change into something dry, try and salvage SOMETHING romantic out of this smoldering wreckage of a date, and go the fuck to sleep.

And I guess... pray that that really did stop the warping and that I don't find myself stuck in a tree or in somebody's bathroom halfway through the night or something.

Just think of it this way. [He offers his hand to John to help him up. As he does he smirks like a dick.] If you do keep warping, you'll probably just keep visiting me all night. We can call Rose to come bed down in the same room. Problem mostly solved.

[John takes Dave's hand and pulls himself up, laughing.]

Apologies in advance if future me ends up crushing you in the middle of the night because we both know I wouldn't be able to just zap in bed next to you because that would be too convenient. Dear god I hope that fixed it though. This really fucking sucks, you have no idea.

[Once John is on board, Bro launches into the sky with a powerful flap of his wings to get him airborne. His wings are big, like bikes big. Or something. The fact of the matter is, it isn't that hard for him to get flying. They soar upwards, with Dave keeping a tight grip on Bro's head to keep him from doing a spinning rise like he likes to do from time to time.] Should have fixed it. You let the weirdo go and you know how those kinds of stories go. Either you patched it, or we'll find you dead in the bathroom with some weird note.

[Because that makes it easier for you to sleep. Doesn't it?]

Edited 2013-07-25 23:53 (UTC)

In the event that that happens, I leave all of my ghosts to you. May they make your life a pranking hell in my stead. [Because somebody has to.] Rose gets all of my other worldly possessions and nicer Pokémon. Oh wait, I lied, not all my ghosts, sorry bro. Aradia gets the nice ones. You get all the pranksters.

You're just so kind. [Dave quips as he decides why not. He clicks his tongue and Bro shoots upward wings spread as he just glides along the winds. It's deceptive. The fact that Bro is okay with it, is a warning sign. They're nearly back to the hotel and Dave looks back at him grinning.] Hold on.

[He turns back and gives the dragon's shoulder a slap. The dragons wings close up as he tips forward, and they plummet like a stone. Has John ever seen the world rushing up to meet at a blinding speed? Well, he has now. At the last second, wings snap open and they land soundlessly before the building.]

One of us has to be. [John sits down behind Dave and holds onto Dave's shoulders lightly, clearly not expecting whatever devious things that grin may suggest.]

[By the time they're diving, John's hands have moved from Dave's shoulders to wrap around his chest so that he can hold on a little tighter. He's taken a few sky dives on Liv before so at first, he's actually laughing as they streak towards the ground, whooping a little bit. Admittedly though, Liv never cuts it quite as close as Bro just did. So the lower they go, the less excited and more worried those shouts become. In fact, he's almost screaming and practically clinging to Dave by the time they make their landing.]

[Dave sits and waits for John to settle now that they're on the ground. Best dive ever. So he may look a little crazy with his hair wind-blown and a satisfied smirk on his face.] Doing okay back there, John?

Fine! Totally fine! Ahaha... ha. Bro likes to cut it close there, huh? Haha, good one!

[Just...give him a minute to collect his wits back up so he can let go of Dave. Hold on...]

He does a lot more than that usually. I reigned him in and told him hell no, we got a newbie to your stunts on board. So you didn't get 'crack the whip', or 'triple spin dive' going.

[It had taken a good dig of his heels and a hissed breath but Bro got the message.]

Ahahaha! Aha... yes thank you for that. Maybe some other time you can take me along for those but thank you for realizing that tonight was not that night. Or day. Or just basic time. For spins and shit. Hahaha...

Okay yeah, I'm going to go back inside now and... pretend some stuff didn't happen. [He totally did not zap in on Rose while she was taking a bubble bath. Nope. Did not happen.] Thanks for the help, dude, I appreciate it.

[He hops off of Bro's back and starts making his way inside with a wave.]

Night!

[Dave waves to John and waits until he's nearly at the door before he signals to Bro. The dragon and rider shoot upwards in a steep climb, creating a strong gust of wind with their passing. Night John.]

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prぁn◙￻￻￻ $43 | ￻acti♂n FORWARD-DATED TO SATURDAY 6/8

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