[John is seated on a piano bench, though he's facing away from the piano at the moment, using the instrument as sort of a backrest instead. In his lap sits a small stack of papers and the look on his face clearly says that he is all business today.]

[Brace yourselves.]

So I'm not sure why none of us thought to clear this up sooner, but it's come to my attention that there are a few things concerning the people from my universe that really should be addressed to avoid further confusion. Mainly: alternate universe selves, who's related to who, and how a sixteen year old can be a grandparent.

I have mentioned it to a few people already but basically it all boils down to something called ectobiology. To put it as simply as I can, ectobiology is the science of exploiting time loops to create babies out of paradox ghost slime. None of us were born in the typical human sense of the word, I created us all in a lab and then we went back in time on meteors and crash landed on Earth. And it's all thanks to a game called SBURB which I'm not going to go into too much detail about because it's really only marginally relevant and I will be here all day if I try to explain it.

Anyway...thanks to ectobiology, we have two family trees to deal with here:

( cut for lengthy explanation and terribad art )

Most of you probably don't care about any of this but I know there were a few people who were confused so I figured it would be best to clear it up now in case more of us show up. I probably missed a few things in this explanation but I was trying to keep it as short and simple as possible. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask. If I can't answer it, hopefully someone else from my universe can.

A: Video/Action for Goldenrod Hospital
[The Rotom’s face that appears when the feed flicks on isn’t so much IN the screen as it just plain IS the screen. Seems the little booger thought it would be funny to possess a Pokegear. The ghost laughs, sending a jumbled string of letters, 1s, and 0s across the screen because apparently the thing couldn't decide if it was speaking English or binary. A moment later, the face blips off the screen and turns to a view of a hospital room.]

[On the bed sits John, glasses-less and looking only half awake (at best) and more out of it than usual. But what’s really strange is the fact that instead of wearing a hospital gown or even one of his silly Pokemon shirts, he’s wearing this little number, complete with white tights and a matching hair bow stuck in his messier-than-usual hair. In a chair next to the bed sits Rose, wearing what is quite possibly the biggest shit-eating grin in the universe. Despite this, she somehow manages to keep her voice completely level and normal.]

Good morning, sweetheart. I see you are finally awake. How are you feeling, beautiful?

[John gives a sleepy grunt and rubs at his eyes.] Mmm...like death warmed over? Holy shit, I'm hungry...

Well, luckily for you the nurses want you to eat before we go anywhere, though that doesn't mean I can’t take you out later if you'd like, darling.

I would like that, yeah. But before anything, I need my glasses and also my legs feel weir-- are these tights? [Still mostly blind, his hands trail up his own legs, eventually reaching the edge of the dress, at which his expression deadpans and his voice goes flat.] I am wearing an absolutely ridiculous frilly dress right now, aren't I?

And if you are? [Where before her voice was pretty even, she can’t keep the hint of mischief and amusement from it now.]

You're broadcasting this, aren't you?

And if I am?

[At that, John turns to where he thinks Rose, and therefore the camera, is (really, he’s a little off, but the CameRotom moves a little to adjust for this error). Using both hands, he forms identical "v-for-victory" signs to frame his face, pulling the biggest, dorkiest, most painfully cheesy grin he can muster. He is pretty much straight from the mangas right now and his Prankster’s Gambit is plummeting.]

[...yet somehow, it seems impossible to read anything other than murderous intent from John right now.]

[The Rotom cackles and the feed ends for now. Though Tron's work is far from done here, he still has a few tricks up his non-existent sleeves.]

B: Action for Goldenrod City
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((ooc: John's back from hiatus coma-land, responses may come from both.))