ghostytrainer | prank #44

Current Location: saffron inn

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prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e

holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

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...are you okay? You didn't get hit with a Poison attack or some kind of weird Psychic thing, right?

[Nagisa is used to being awake at odd hours; she practices late. She sleeps late when she can, but she knows better than to get on the Gear this late normally.]

Yeah ok, we can do the baking thing. But you're going to bed after that.

...i think you need an intervention.

[says the guy awake at shit o' clock.]

You could fly?
Also what is this windy thingy?
And what was that about psychic Pokemon?

[ Maybe if she types in short bursts, he will too. A longshot, but Sakura's always up this late anyway due to her sleeping troubles. ]

[Shaun sounds worried and confused.]

John...? Are you okay? Maybe I shouldn't have called in case you got to go to sleep but...

I didn't read all your message because it was really long, but I think you need to go to bed.

Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping too, though, so I understand.

[Mostly when it rains, but still.]

John, I am suffering some second hand embarrassment. Please, dear god please, shut the fuck up.

What is it humans say... Check yourself before you wreck yourself. That applies, right?

Y'know, psychic pokémon are actually pretty awesome.
My starter is psychic. I've never met any other pokémon nearly as smart as he is.
Plus, he translates for me. Like.
I know what the others want to tell me or think about what's going on because he can translate it.
And then think it to me. THAT IS SO COOL THOUGH.
Being able to do that on my own would be awesome though. I agree.
Also I don't get Fly either, I could ask though.
I mean, if you're serious.

iam 100% oki doki!!! totayl fine. :D
no poison or psychic thigs or werid pokemon screwing with me somehow. it's great.
just chilling out adn watching some movies.
how aobut you?

Fuck yes, I knew I could count on you!!! [John sounds... well borderline hysterical but there's a definite undertone of exhaustion to his words.] This is going to be so sweet.

Party till dawn and then just keep on going. Dude, duuuuuude hehehehe. Dave, Dave you have your gear right? We can totally have a jam session after we make pancakes. It'll be sweet.

[Fuck bed.]

but i would hvae to be drunk for that or on drugs i guess?
and i am completly sober! i am too young to drink and drugs are hwack.
like the bad kind of whack. the whack yousay no to.
so no intervention needed!!!

yes, i could fly. it was one ofthe totally sweet perks of ebing god tier in my world.
the windy thing was another perk! though it was something only i cold do. all god tiers could fly but sa the heir of breath, my powers dealt with winf!
it's different for everybody though, dpending on you rtitle and whaatever.
like my best firend is the knight of time so he can do all sorts of timey-wimey nonsense. which is cool but not a s cool as mine because the windy thing was totally boss.
i could become the wind if i wantd to! like literally just...FWOOSH! suddenly gone.
but it had other uses too. like i could make giant tornados. and mini tornnadoes. tornadoes of all sizes!!! through planets with these thigns if i wanted to.
and not your regular old boring tornados either. i could drill
and i could make things fly.
like cars and sshit. anything i wanted to, i just had to will the eind to do it and bam.
LIFDOFF!!!!

and psychic pokemon can talk to you! some of them, anyway.
like my xatu couldn't do it before he evovlde but he can now. not that he's really the talkative type...
like in your mind. it's cool but... you're kind of limited. and if you want to talk to your non-sychics, you have to use them a a go-between.
so it's not really the same as beign an actual psychic yourself, you know?

[Sorry, Sakura, but sleep deprivation has activated his ramble mode. It was a nice attempt though.]

Are you sure? You're making a lot of typos and you're kind of talking about weird things...

[She flips on the video, after a minute. Nagisa herself is in practice clothes she picked up on the cheap - she's leaning against a wall, a window showing Violet City behind her, in a blue t-shirt and some shorts, with a towel draped around her neck. Her Audino is with her, holding her water bottle for her; after a moment, it hands the bottle to Nagisa, tapping at the screen a little.]

I'm Nagisa Motomiya. I'm a singer and dancer, back home. I was up late practicing, and decided I'd check the Gear before getting a shower and some sleep.

Edited 2013-06-27 01:27 (UTC)

i wasn't saying they arne't! not as cool as ghosts, mind you, but still pretty awesome.
my xatu and mr.mime do the same thing but it's jst not the same.
if i were psychic myself, i wouldn't need the go-betwen. :(
and i could talk to all of them whnever i wanted, regardles of whethr or not my pychics are int the box.

i was completely serious.
maybe i shold have asked oen of my own. but for some reason i just thougt it would make more sens to ask like... you know when you're actually using the tm?
which seems sillt now that i think about it.
what was i thinkig?

[You weren't, John. And that's the problem here.]

Nah, I get you. I haven't seen many ghosts though.
Which is weird...I live in Ecruteak right now.
You'd think I'd be up to my neck in them.
But, hey. That's another story.

Well, one of mine just recently evolved and learned to fly. I'll just go ask.
Gimme a few.

I am so checked right now. No wrecking over here! This is a strictly no-wreck zone.

[Except that one look at him is more than enough to make it obvious that this isn't the case. Were it not for the blue-ish light of an off-screen TV casting a spooky glow on John, he would be sitting in complete darkness. He's sitting on the bed, surrounded by pillows with the blanket pulled up over his head like a hood. His eyes have a hollowed look to them, dark circles already beginning to form from the days' worth of neglected sleep. He's smiling, but whether it's the lack of sleep or the TV-light or some weird combination of both, it's just seems wrong. It's forced, and altogether too fragile of a smile for John.]

[Aside from John though, there doesn't appear to be any other living thing in the room. Which is weird considering he always has at least one Pokémon hanging off him or at his side at all times.]

Everything is hunky dory, Karkat! Nothing to be embarrassed about!

So.
I have an answer.
It's actually pretty interesting.
I asked both of my fliers and got the same thing.
Basically it goes like this:
Before you use the HM, they know how to fly and know that they can carry people/things. They just don't know how to adapt their center of gravity well enough to do it.
So, if you try it before the HM, happy wipe-out.
But, crack that sucker over their heads and BAM!
It doesn't teach them, it adapts them. Like, they instinctively know how far to shift their weight in battle and where their center should be with someone being carried.
It changes the way they react by adapting them to a new way of doing what they already knew how to do.
Like if you knew how to punch something your whole life but suddenly you knew how that punch could hit someone in a specific spot to knock them down in one blow or something.
At least that's what I'm getting. I sort had to think about it with the three of them for a while, but it seems like that's the gist of it.

[Good choice in switching, Nagisa. He's at least slightly more coherent this way. But now you have to deal with actually seeing this poor half-unhinged kid. He's sitting in the dark, save for the blue-ish light of a TV somewhere off screen. At least the TV is actually ON though, judging by the wait the light dances and changes colors and the sounds of background music and people talking off screen.]

[He's on the one of the Inn beds, wrapped up in the blankets and surrounded by what is likely every pillow inside his hotel room and maybe a few that he stole from his friends. Even with the TV glare on his glasses, the tale-tell dark rings of sleep deprivation are clearly there beneath his eyes. When he speaks, he sounds chipper but maybe just the tiniest bit tired.]

Nice to meet you, Nagisa. I'm John Egbert and I wasn't really much of anything back home. Just some kid who did stuff and also things, mostly. There's probably more I could say but I won't because most of it just stupid and confusing and will probably make me sound crazy. And since we have only just meant, I would hate to give off that impression. [Though he probably already failed at this, given the night blogging.] But uh... I play the piano I guess? Since we are talking about music. Or you mentioned it, so I am taking that as an invitation to discuss music. Sometimes I sing too but hardly in the professional sense or even in the sense that anybody would actually want to hear it? So lots of shower solos, hahaha.

[Unfortunately, the switch from text to video did NOT turn off the rambling.]

Did you actually mean singer and dancer in the professional sense though? I mean you look even younger than me! So that is kind of amazing, if that is actually the case.

you need more ghosts, just sayin.
they are the best type.

ok.
you may have a few. but only a fwe!!!!!

[Doop doop now to wait...]

[Okay, yeah, he totally forgot that Demyx was going to get back to him on this. So he's a little surprised at the text message 30 minutes later.]

haha what?
what does that have to do with anything? do you have the wrong number?

oh! wait nvm i forgot.
ahahaha you'r the dude who was getting bck to me about the fl y thng.
wow go me. DUHHHH.

ahahaha... yeah ok that's cool though i guess.

[He understood maybe half of it. He'll have to look at it again when his brain can better process information like this.]

I know a said 'gimme a few' and took like half an hour but wow.
Yep, guy getting back to you about fly.
After half an hour deeply discussing things with pokémon.
Which is also surreal as hell.
It's one thing to talk to them, it's another to sit down for half an hour and discuss flight and it's consequences pre and post-HM.
Just saying.
This place never stops reminding me of how weird it is.

[Try sleep deprivation when you're somewhere in the middle of space, on a ship full of teenage girls, and you are not actually sure what time it is supposed to be at either the destination or the place you left. Nagisa is concerned, but unfazed - this is a thing she's seen before.]

Nice to meet you, too, John! And you don't sound crazy. You sound tired, but you don't sound crazy. And we all have crazy stuff in our pasts - I mean, my own is kind of nuts. The music's a lot of why it's nuts, though.

[She laughs a little bit.]

See, music and entertainment are banned in a lot of places, in the future where I'm from. So yeah, my 14th birthday was this past January, and I do mean singer and dancer in the professional sense, as part of the idol group AKB0048, but we...kinda have to fly under the radar. Literally. On spaceships and all that.

Sleep deprivation on a spaceship...yeah. I have been there. It's the worst when you don't actually know what time it's supposed to be in either direction - where you came from or where you're going. Just that you're going and you have a show when you get there.

sorry i got ditstracted and completely forgot. :(
but i rememer now so it's all good, right?

but yeah this place is defintitly weird but it's like a good weird.
good weird wrappd up in weird with a heaping side dash of weird surrounded in weird.
avtually that' might be a little TOO weird and i might nede to dialback the weirdometer.
because it's... not as weird as it cuold be, really.
at least there are SOME things that makesense.

Yeah, it's alright. You remembered quick like so we're cool.

Except the ledges.
I don't care how long you try and make sense of it.
The ledges just do not make sense at all.

I have my gear but you're going to bed after we bake. I'm serious. [He's getting up to track him down. He's a man on a mission. His best bro is not ok.]

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prank #44 | text

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Audio the next morning

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text nvm disregard that i lied 1/2

text this is the half hour later one also i lied 2/3

text and about a minute later. I'M DONE LYING FOR NOW 3/3

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