ghostytrainer | voice mail

Entry tags:

voice mail

Oh hey, what's up?

[There's a pause, perhaps you should tell him why you called. At least until he interrupts...]

Hey, that's cool, but guess what?!

[Another short pause, perhaps you should guess what is so important that John felt the need to interrupt your surely riveting story.]

I am not actually here right now! So leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can!

[You cannot hope to beat John Egbert in a prank-off. He is simply the best there is.]

Hehehehe...you totally fell for it, didn't you?

[Beep!]

((Please make note of the date and format of your message in the subject when tagging. ♥))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You can if you want! [There will probably be a full set of friend o'lanterns out there before this is done. Screw regular spooky jack o'lanterns.] You can carve whatever you want, it doesn't even have to be a face. Faces are just usually the most common thing.

As for the guts...hold on, that's the one thing i forgot to grab. [He wanders over to the cupboards, pulling out the biggest plastic containers he can find and bringing them back to the table.] We'll put them in here for now. I want to do some kitchen experiments later. Throwing them out is kind of a waste.

[It's time for pumpkin everything.]

Oh!! In that case, maybe I'll try for something...spooky? [ That is the point of Halloween, after all, right?

...OR PERHAPS SHE WILL MAKE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE HER LUSUS. That is what Aradia is drawing an outline for now, after a second's thought. ]

Will the kitchen experiments be delicious or nutritious or both? Also, will you be cackling evilly? Because experiments require that. I think!

Spooky is never a bad thing. And hopefully both though I'm pretty sure most things will probably end up less on the nutritious side. I'm not sure if I have a very good evil cackle but I can sure try!

[He has a good...mischievous cackle??? That's like the same thing, right? He picks up one of the knives and starts cutting a circle around the stem of the pumpkin.]

Once you're done drawing, just cut off the top like so and then start scooping. In the meantime though, I will tell you about the Jack o'lantern legend. At least what I remember of it. It's been a while.

I can do evil cackles for us!!

[ ...Hey John did you miss her creepy grin what if she adds some laughter to that.

What then?

...At least she'll pause to finish off her ram drawing, although the abrupt switch back to normal might be even more jarring. ]

Oh, story time! I love story time.

[...just when he thought that smile couldn't get any creepier.]

Right. Okay, well I promise this story has 100% less weird alien sex antics than the ones Aranea told that...you don't even know about yet anyway if I remember correctly. So forget I said that.

Anyway! The legend is obviously about a guy named Jack and he was something of an unscrupulous jackass. One day, he was having drinks with the Devil, but since he was a stingy jackass, he didn't want to pay for their drinks. So he tricked the Devil into turning himself into a coin. And...

[He pauses, brow furrowing as he pulls the newly-made lid off of his pumpkin and picks up a scoop.] Okay this is the part I'm a bit fuzzy on. Somehow he still manages to get out of actually paying for the drinks and keeps the Devil coin. He puts puts the Devil in his pocket next to a silver cross so that he can't change back. He eventually lets the Devil go, but only with the promise that he leave Jack alone for a whole year.

[He starts scooping out pumpkin guts.]

Tell me if I lost you or anything.

[ It can always get creepier. ]

Weird alien sex antics? [ THAT WOULD BE A HARD THING TO FORGET YOU SAYING, JOHN. ]

So...Jack tricks the Devil into being a coin for some reason - although why would the Devil need to pay for drinks, anyway? - and then somehow didn't pay for drinks and also kept the Devil.

Got it.

[ Also, she is raising her eyebrows as she takes a carving tool of her own to start on her pumpkin. ]

I am sure this ended completely well for him!

Yes. Oh but I don't mean like...she talked about troll sex and that was weird or anything, this was something completely different and okay we're just dropping this subject because it sounds terrible no matter what I say.

[One day, John will recieve the replacement for his brain-to-mouth filter. One day.]

But yeah, anyway, I never promised you that the story checks out logically. Legends and fairy tales tend to do that. [Scoop scoop, mmmm pumpkin guts.]

Actually though, it did work out for him okay! As promised, the Devil did leave him alone for a whole year. But once that year was up, he came back because I guess he still liked talking to the guy or something. Here's where I'm really fuzzy though. I don't remember what it was they were doing, but it ended up with Jack pulling a fast one on him again. He tricked the Devil into climbing up a tree to...pick a fruit, I think it was?

[John you are the worst storyteller ever. Ever.]

Once the Devil was up the tree, Jack carved a cross into the bark and promised only to let him go if the Devil left him alone for another ten years. Once again, the Devil agrees and leaves, keeping his promise. Because apparently the Devil has higher standards than a human being, who knew?

[ Liar. That day will never come! ]

...So, in ten years, does Jack trick the Devil again?

[ IT'S OKAY JOHN ARADIA'S STILL LISTENING as she scoops out pumpkin guts, gross.

Man, Aranea would be so incensed right now. ]

Surprisingly? No. Jack dies before the ten years are up. But since he was such a shitty person in life, he can't get into heaven. And unfortunately, there's two problems with him getting into hell. First of all: the Devil kind of hates him and secondly: technically he did promise that he'd leave Jack alone for ten years. So he sends Jack's soul away with nothing but a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal inside a hollowed-out, carved up turnip and essentially became Jack of the Lantern. He's supposedly been wandering the Earth ever since, or so the legend goes.

And I guess at some point they decided a pumpkin was better to use than a turnip because nobody carves turnips for Halloween.

So...the moral of the story is don't tick off the Devil if you're a horrible person who has to go to hell?

[ Human stories seem to have morals a lot.

She's learned this from storytime with the humans. ]

More like...don't be a jackass in general, I think. Even to the Devil. But if ou really, really have to be a horrible person, then yes. You would be right. If nothing else, don't tick off the Devil.

[And with one final squishy plop, the last of John's pumpkin's innards find their way into the tupperware container.] Let me know when you're done scooping, then we can move on to the next part.

Well, ticking off people with power is never a good idea unless you have a plan as to what to do next!

That doesn't end with you being a wandering spirit, I mean.

[ wow could you be speaking from personal experience there, Aradia?

She shovels her pumpkin guts into the tupperware as well. ]</small. Okay, ready.

Yes, exactly. Alright now once you have it all emptied out, you take your knife again and... [He spins his pumpkin around so that Aradia can see his beautiful drawing of Dave again, sticking the blade of the knife in one of the lines of his shades.]

You just cut out along your lines. It'll cut holes out of the front so the light can shine through once we stick the candle in.

Well, now you're stabbing Dave. Was that your goal?

[ But yes okay, carving out the picture of rammom. ]

Of course not! [He looks slightly offended.] I would never take pleasure from stabbing someone, even if it's just their visage on a fat orange vegetable.

[COME ON, ARADIA. THINK ABOUT WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO HERE...]

[ IS SHE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE JOKES. ]

So you say, at least...but I'm not so sure!! Maybe it's an act.

[ well too bad she's going to make them anyway ]

[Of course she's allowed to make jokes. Stabbing is just a sensitive topic, okay. At least know he gets that it was a joke though.]

[He grins mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows.]

Are you really sure you want to know the answer to that, Aradia. YOu know what they say about curiosity and cats...

[And he does...kind of have a knife in his hand right now.]

[ At least her jokes are probably slightly less uncomfortable than some of the ones the other trolls might make.

Kind of.

At least a few of them are worse than her, okay. ]

I think I still have a few lives to spare for curiosity.

[ If she's the cat in this scenario, at least. ]

I'm down to, what...? Seven? Six?

[This is true...]

[At least she's not Meenah. Or Vriska. Or Damara...]

Something like that, probably, yeah. Because I assume we don't count doomed deaths in our totals.

If we counted doomed deaths I would have broken the nine lives limit a few thousand doomed timelines ago.

[ TO TINY LITTLE PIECES.

And let's not get started on the Dave Abuse of that limit, man. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

voice mail

action; october 18th; SURPRISE. SILLY OUTLINE.

action; october 18th; NOW I KNOW

action; october 18th; B)

action; october 18th; B)

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th

action; october 18th