ghostytrainer | prank #49 | text [FILTERED AWAY FROM ROSE, DAVE & DIRK]

Current Location: ecruteak city

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prank #49 | text [FILTERED AWAY FROM ROSE, DAVE & DIRK]

so...jade harley is gone again, for anybody who knew her.
which...kind of makes my original intent for this post somewhat awkward. i am kind of torn wondering if the fact that i dragged my feet with this is a good thing or if i should be kicking myself over it.
more leaning towards the latter.
anyway, that's beside the point.

point is: next month is jade harley, dave and dirk strider, and rose lalonde's birthdays.
they're on december 1st, 3rd, and 4th, respectively. with both striders being on the same day if that party wasn't clear.
since they're so close together, aradia and i were going to throw them a three day long sort-of-surprise-but-not-really party with a semi-break in the middle on the 2nd.
which we're still going to do, though obviously it might end up being a little shorter than we originally planned.

i figured it might not be a bad idea to mention that now so their friends can make travel plans if they want to stop by for a day or two.
it'll be at rose and i's house in ecruteak. if you can make it, just let aradia or i know at some point and we can give you the address/directions.
and even if you can't make it, i'm sure they would appreciate some birthday well-wishes.
somehow, i would be willing to bet that between dirk just arriving here, dave being the aloof coolkid that he is, and rose being...uh...rose, that they probably never brought up their birthdays to any of the friends they've made here.
that's all!
i hope you're all having a good day. :)

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i am having a great day thank you.
it was brightened considerably by this lovely blue wall of text.
thank you for making my day better john.
thank you so much.
especially fore reminding me daves getting old.
god i feel like a grandpa sometimes.
but anyway theres a point to this and ima get to it.
what the hell does dave even like nowadways?
i need to get him something stupid, shitty and ironic but i need to know the direction to take it.
and rose too.

and i guess in the effort to form familial bonds i ought to get you something.
but i dont need advice on that.
i know just what to get you.
(:

assuming that wasn't sarcasm: you're welcome.
it's my daily goal to brighten at least one person's day.
and it's still early! so i might even break my quota today, that would be great.

no but ok, the point. dave's into all the same stuff he has been, pretty much.
still into music and photography. and weird dead things.
he's really into dragons now too? no idea if that's terezi's influence or just a pokemon thing or what.

haha, ok.
my birthday isn't for quite a while though! i am the combo breaker.
it's me.
my meteor missed the memo or something.

was it sarcasm?
we just dont know.
its one of lifes greatest mysteries.

alright got it.
glad to see his taste aint changed.
and that hes got good taste in mythical creatures.
he could like hoppip.
that would be unfortunate.
now tell me about rose.
what sort of horrific things does my little girl love.

oh i meant as a christmas present.
but good job there bro.
its nice to see you can be late even while traveling on meteors.
but yeah i kinda associate their birthdays with christmas now.
the woes of having december babies.

mysterious.

ahaha yeah, definitely not hoppip. that would fall more jade's way.
plants and all.
horrific things pretty well describes rose's interests though.
though if you're having trouble finding something appropriately eldritch horroresque, there's always books.
she has a library/study type thing going on in the house now, but she doesn't really have that many books yet since we've been traveling so long.
also wizards. she really likes wizards. and cats. and eevees.
i'd say knitting too but at this point she's pretty well covered on that front. unless you just want to get her some yarn i guess? she can always use more of that, but she's covered on needles and stuff like that.

shh. one holiday at a time.
i try not to think about christmas until after i get through birthdapocalypse.
so many presents to buy.
so much decorating to do.
so much cooking.
and then there's new years right after and fuck see? see?
this is why i just focus on one at a time.
we haven't even gotten past thanksgiving yet and you know that's only two days before jade's birthday this year.

[Welcome to John's holiday hell, Bro.]

Edited (HOW DID I FORGET WIZARDS) 2013-11-24 21:10 (UTC)

wow.
she really is my ectodaughter.
now i dont even know where to start.
and john did you seriously just.
suggest i get her yarn.
is that a fucking thing you just did.
what kind of douchebag buys someone yarn for their birthday.
do i really look like the kind of guy to buy someone yarn.
answer carefully.

your life is hard john.
thats all i really have to say on the matter.
it sounds like you need a break.
maybe you should let me cook for you.
which is to say just order goddamn pizza and stop fretting.

no, that wasn't a suggestion.
that was me saying why i didn't think it was worth bothering to mention knitting.
for the record though: she likes getting yarn.
i usually throw in a couple of skeins with her christmas present.

no.
just no.
we're not doing pizza for the holidays.
my life isn't that hard just more like this time of year is super busy.
but that's ok.
even if i whine about it, super busy is better than the alternative.

maybe when i turn fifty ill start throwing in yarn with gifts.
maybe.
im not an old man like you though.
god what a geezer.

whats wrong with holiday pizza?
its the fucking best thing.
who needs ham or turkey or any of that shit.
just get a fucking pizza with ham on it.
bam.
dinner is served.

yeah yeah, i'm the old one here.
you got me.

no.
there's nothing wrong with pizza but no.

you really are.
theres no denying it john.
or should i call you johnathan.
that sounds suitably old.

youre such a party pooper.

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ghostytrainer - 2013-12-04 04:12 (UTC) - Expand

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plushaeusrumpified - 2013-12-05 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

[Press send Maka.

Press send, Maka.

Goddamn you piece of shit shonen idiot, PRESS SEND.]

I think Dave wouldn't like it if I brought him a dress, what sort of things does Rose like?

[God that was stupid.]

I mean

if you wouldn't mind me coming

ahahaha!
yeah probably not. funny though that would be, a dress is probably not the best idea for dave.
rose likes books and things of a creepy, eldritch horror-y persuasion.
and cats.

but no, of course i wouldn't mind. and i doubt they would either.
rose would probably love the chance to see you in person again.
and you've talked to dave before, right?

Bro is uh

saying that I should come for Christmas, so I may as well spend more time with all of you

I talked to Dave when you and he were doing the dress thing, but since he's a boy I'm going to assume he likes things like motorcycles and dragons, and dragons on motorcycles.

As for Rose, if she likes books, the question would be what sort of books does she *not* have at this point.

[Bookworm behavior is very predictable to her.]

bro? wait...like dave's bro? bro strider?
that bro?

[John how many other people who go by "bro" do you even know, come on now. WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?]

dragons, yes. motorcycles, no.
dave's more of a...artistically inclined sort of guy, i guess you could say.
he likes music and drawing comics.
but also sword fighting.

but rose um...
well to be honest? not a whole lot.
mostly reference-type books. you know, like breeding guides, legends, stuff like that.
we've been traveling most of the time for almost three years now so she's mostly been using libraries instead of hauling around stacks of books, you know?
so she doesn't have a lot of fiction-y, reading-for-pleasure type books.
which i know she likes, especially if they're about wizards.
wow i am a terrible fiancee. how did i list cats as an interest before wizards?

[...God, John, how does she explain this.]

I'll quote him.

"yes my kids.
one of which being the one i wanted to set you up with.
good times.
youre fucking silly if you think theyll mind.
daves chill.
rose would probably jump at the chance to nerd over books with you.
besides youre like my adopted daughter thing now by this point.
an unplanned child if you will.
if they cant share then they obviously need time out and to get coal for xmas."

...Our relationship is complicated.

Anyway. I think in that case I have an idea for Rose. Dave sounds like my friend Soul, a little, so I might have an idea in mind for him too.

[Wait, one more thing.]

It's "fiance" John. "Fiancee" would be Rose.

[Yep. No comment on the fact that two kids in her age group are apparently engaged, just "you spelled it wrong."

Maka's life.]

Edited 2013-11-24 22:16 (UTC)

oh uh.
i see. well then that is...interesting i guess?
he's not wrong though about rose.
she'll probably show you her little library she's working on building up the moment you hang up your coat.

shit, i typo'd, my bad.
i swear i do actually know that, ahaha.
my finger must have slipped and i didn't catch it before i hit send.

Like I said, it's complicated. It doesn't help that he's a lot like my *actual* dad either.

Ahaha, it's okay! A lot of people get it wrong and I couldn't help correcting it. [Pedantic shitfuck that she is.]

...the fact that there's another person even remotely like bro strider is kind of worrisome.
like...wow. ok.

it's ok! i don't mind, i am used to that sort of thing by now ahaha.

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yes i am more than happy to give directions!!
i will even pick people up
it will be fun!

[ let's just. move on from the goodbyes. ]

hehe, yeah.
it was a lot of fun last year so even with less people this time around, we should still have a blast.

although hopefully no one gets sick from spiked punch this time

oh yeah, no.
alcohol is a strict no-no this year. for both birthdays and christmas.
like if i find anybody trying to sneak some in, it won't end well.

[Because Rose really doesn't need to be around that right now...]

i am fully behind that
i like being able to drink things without worrying about that :o
are we going to do body searches at the door or

yeah.
i got lucky enough last year, but i was really thinking more about rose.
she's still kind of beating herself up over some stuff she did back home.
like i don't think she'll relapse and go back to drinking or anything i just don't think she would appreciate something like that happening while the wounds are fresh, so to speak.

that sounds a little overdramatic, wow.

um but i wasn't really planning on doing that, no.
i figured just telling relevant parties would be enough.
should we do body searches, you think?

oh!! i hadnt heard about that
well
she was a little headachey when you all woke up but
in that case i absolutely understand

hm
probably not
i mean its not like our friends arent pretty obliging on the whole

yeah, she doesn't talk about it much.
predictably, really.

yeah and most of them are too young anyway.
though i think i'll mention something to bro...since he is at least old enough to buy alcohol if nothing else.