A young man wakes up in a bedroom that is not his own. It just so happens that today, the sixteenth of January, is this boy's first day as a Pokémon trainer. Though he has spent the past thirteen years on Earth, from this day on he will be stuck in Johto!
What will this young man do?
((Head's up: All of these posts are from before the great RP migration of 2011, so they're all on Livejournal.))
Okay, no that was a lie. In fact it's only been one year and it isn't even the future, because now the future is the present. Anyway, this new year undoubtedly brings with it countless new opportunities for shenanigans and fun times.
And so continues John's journey to be the very best...
The cities are full of Other-Worlders. Wind skims the tall grass hiding countless wild Pokémon, as if trying to tempt the trainers, or say, taunt them with promises of things rarer than Pidgey and Rattata. A familiar tune is produced. It's the 8bit loop that never stops playing in the background.
It is your third year in Johto, and as with the two preceding it, you couldn't be happier to be trapped here. The only thing that eludes you is a way to stay here forever...
Anyway, all that changed when he was brought to Johto. Depite the fact that he'd been in the middle of something really damn important back home, somehow he managed to-- oh fuck it at this rate the intro blurb will be longer than any of the thread link comments.
Look, some stuff happened to John and if you're really curious about what it, you can just look at all those other damn links in the comments above this one. Or just ask John yourself, through your character. Or maybe one day I'll get really bored and actually finish this dumb thing, man wouldn't that be something?
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ACT ONE
What will this young man do?
((Head's up: All of these posts are from before the great RP migration of 2011, so they're all on Livejournal.))
January - March 2011
01/16/11 - John: Discuss
shittyawesome movies with Aradia while traveling to Cherrygrove.01/20/11 - John: Arrive in Cherrygrove, figure out the video function.
01/20/11 - John: Purchase a Buneary egg from sexy blonde. Remain oblivious.
01/20/11 - John: Congratulate your best bro on an evolution well-done. Proceed to tease him.
01/23/11 - John and Gamzee: Form search party to go rescue Eridan!
01/25/11 - John: Be unimpressed with Soul and Dave's rap battle.
01/29/11 - John: At Soul's request, draw your home world!
01/30/11 - John: Delight in the fact that Rose has arrived in Johto.
01/31/11 - John: Be reminded of the background music. Dammit.
01/31/11 - John: Inform Karkat of his horrible naming sense.
02/02/11 - John: Fail to receive invitation to the evolution party.
02/03/11 - John: Reunite with potential wife slash lab daughter.
02/03/11 - Casey: Hatch.
02/04/11 - John: Congratulate Soul on the Birth of Wesmander.
02/05/11 - Cherrygrovestuck Crew: Prepare to become un-Cherrygrovestuck.
02/09/11 - John and Rose: Battle the wild pokémobs.
02/09/11 - John and Vriska: Battle the wild pokémobs.
02/11/11 - John: Arrive in Violet, call Dave to come get you because you're sick and lost.
02/11/11 - John: Form a blanket cocoon, discuss how much sickness sucks with Aradia.
02/11/11 - John: Have Dave take care of your poor, sick self.
02/14/11 - John: Receive a surprise visit from Rose on Valentine's day.
02/15/11 - John: Walk in on high-octane nightmare fuel.
02/17/11 - John: Have difficulties with the flippered Flighty Broad.
02/17/11 - John: Visit a sick Rose, accidentally touch her waist.
02/18/11 - John: Watch romcoms with Karkat.
02/23/11 - Brolocaust: Begin.
02/23/11 - Brolocaust: Get slightly more real.
02/26/11 - John, Rose, Jade, and Karkat: Attempt to fool Bro. Fail.
02/27/11 - John: Discuss the aftermath of Brolocaust.
02/28/11 - John: Learn that Flighty Broad can...read?
02/28/11 - Casey: Steal
daddy'sJohn's pokégear. Message Clubs Deuce.02/28/11 - John: Attempt to cheer up Sollux.
02/28/11 - John: Advise Talim on how to deal with unruly Pidgeys.
03/03/11 - John: Purchase a ~fresh, authentic~ French Eevee egg.
03/04/11 - John: Accompany Rose to the library at stupid o'clock.
03/06/11 - John: Be concerned for Shooter's Rattata.
03/06/11 - John: Meet Claire Bennet, inform her that the world will end.
03/07/11 - John: Tell Dave things he already knows concerning the gym.
03/07/11 - John: Creep on Dave and Karkat's conversation...then wish you hadn't.
03/08/11 - Casey: Draw pictures.
03/09/11 - John: Teach Claire about Magikarp.
03/09/11 - John: Recieve another stupid o'clock phone call from Rose. Discuss friendship.
03/13/11 - Violetstuck Crew: Attempt to leave Violet, take 1!
03/14/11 - John: Meet Nepeta.
03/14/11 - John: Welcome Sokka to Johto. Give Advice on Magikarps.
03/14/11 - John: Call Rose at stupid o'clock in light of double egg hatch.
03/15/11 - Casey: Discuss new friends and tea parties with Guile.
03/18/11 - John: Continue to be in a funk over Rose dancing with Scratch.
03/18/11 - John: Train until ass o'clock in the morning with
the slave driverRose.03/20/11 - Violetstuck Crew: Attempt to leave Violet, take 2345438!
03/20/11 - Casey: Steal the 'gear again, give Purple advice about making friends.
03/21/11 - John and Rose: Congratulate Jade and Soul on their Zephyr badges.
03/22/11 - John: congratulate Vriska on joining the Zeyphr badge-a-palooza.
03/22/11 - John: Learn of Dave's disappearance.
03/22/11 - John, Rose, and Jade: Attempt to console each other over Dave's disappearance.
03/26/11 - John: Obtain Zephyr Badge. yippee.
03/27/11 - John: Attempt to help Rose name her Glameow.
03/27/11 - John and Rose: Rejoice for Dave has returned!
03/28/11 - John: Welcome Yosuke to Johto.
03/30/11 - John: Buy a Duskull egg from Professor Layton.
April - June 2011
04/01/11 - John: Prank Jade.
04/01/11 - John: Prank Karkat.
04/01/11 - John: Prank Dave.
04/01/11 - John: Recieve pranking comeuppance from Rose. Critical hit to the Prankster's Gambit.
04/02/11 - John: Be disturbed by Claire’s broken bone. Also, discuss friendship.
04/02/11 - John: Discuss overly-affectionate Scythers with Yosuke.
04/04/11 - John: Reunite with loving bro slash forevergirl.
04/04/11 - Casey: Hit puberty.
04/08/11 - John: Attempt to console Claire concerning the loss of Guybrush.
04/13/11 - John: Recieve silly birthday wishes from Rose. And also punches from Dave.
04/13/11 - John: Receive birthday present from Gamzee in form of a rock to the head.
04/17/11 - John: Find deLeon, attempt to contact Nepeta. (backdated)
04/20/11 - Sassacre: Advise Halos on how best to capture Casey’s heart.
04/27/11 - John: Admire Soul's floating sun-rock.
04/28/11 - John: Congratulate Rose on an evolution and an egg hatching.
05/04/11 - John: Discuss the disappearance of Crona with Soul.
05/05/11 - John: Congratulate Karkat on his badge. Discuss the Midnight Crew.
05/05/11 - John: Obtain Hive Badge, have an egg hatch.
05/06/11 - John: Congratulate Sollux on his badge, also learn of his recent blindness.
05/06/11 - John: Inform everyone of Dave's second disappearance.
05/09/11 - John: Boggle vacantly and Raidou’s Gengar’s shenanigans.
05/14/12 - John: Accept Gamzee's offering of Para's shrooms. Learn why drugs are bad.
05/15/11 - John: Welcome Dave back to Johto. Again.
05/16/11 - John: Welcome Vriska back to Johto. (backdated)
05/17/11 - Casey: Meet the Cleffamigos!
05/18/11 - John: Give Soul gym and travel advice.
05/20/11 - John: Seek advice on unruly pokemon from Shinn.
05/21/11 - John: Visit the Department Store with Rose.
05/22/11 - John: Discuss Murkrows and Magikarps with Dave.
05/22/11 - John: Welcome Aang to Johto. Discuss technology.
05/26/11 - Slimer: Congratulate Slightly on a prank well-played.
05/28/11 - John: Save your game. (Fourth Wall Event)
05/28/11 - John: Adopt a Gummy. (Fourth Wall Event)
05/28/11 - John: Admire Kyo’s cats. (Fourth Wall Event)
05/29/11 - John: Recieve love advice from your female self. (Fourth Wall Event)
05/31/11 - John: Learn of Karkat and Gamzee’s disappearances. Comfort Rose.
06/01/11 - John: Meet Nepeta again.
06/01/11 - John: Discuss strange dreams with Yosuke.
06/01/11 - John: Greet Tavros.
06/02/11 - John: Meet up with Dave...again.
06/02/11 - John: Meet Bartz, buy a Dratini egg for Rose.
06/07/11 - John: Learn of Souji’s whereabouts from Yosuke.
06/07/11 - Respond to Rose's memo, end up with date plans.
06/08/11 - John: Have first date with Rose.
06/10/11 - John: Give Yuushi gym tips. Discuss Swamperts and Johto itself.
06/10/11 - John: Congratulate Heather on her Johto anniversary. (backdated)
06/10/11 - Lestat: Evolve, show your master what you think of him.
06/12/11 - John: Attempt to reassure and cheer up Midori.
06/12/11 - John: Attempt to reassure and cheer up Shooter.
06/13/11 - John: Learn of Stitch's thievery.
06/13/11 - John: Attempt to help Dave with his crow problem.
06/14/11 - John: Witness the hatching of Tron and Vodka Derptini.
06/14/11 - John: Meet Toph. Learn about Earthbending.
06/14/11 - John: Meet Luke Triton. Discuss ghosts, puzzles, and the Professor.
06/16/11 - Sassacre: Learn of Aradia’s soullessness.
06/16/11 - John: Learn that Yosuke’s soul was taken as well.
06/17/11 - John: Attempt to research Shedinja to try and save Rose.
06/21/11 - John: Be relieved at Yosuke’s revival. Ask him about the dream world.
06/23/11 - John: Reunite with a revived Rose, fall asleep in her arms.
06/29/11 - John: Listen to Rei’s lullaby.
06/30/11 - John: Learn of Kairi’s disappearance.
July - September 2011
07/05/11 - John: Get a watergun to the face from Soul’s SubWartortleMachine Gun.
07/05/11 - John: Greet Claire. Again.
07/07/11 - John: Congratulate Feferi on her newest capture.
07/07/11 - John: Reassure a lost Midori
07/11/11 - John: Greet Vriska...again. For the third time.
07/11/11 - John: Congratulate Ryuzaki on an egg hatching.
07/12/11 - John and Rose: Sell Buneary Eggs.
07/15/11 - John: Discuss missing fathers with Harry Potter.
07/16/11 - John: Advise Kyo on Ilex Forest.
07/17/11 - John: Greet Yuzu.
07/23/11 - John: Congratul8 Vriska on her first capture and meet up with her afterwards.
08/03/11 - John: Spend the day with your newly evolved
DuskfortDusknoir.08/07/11 - John: Attend Rose’s summer badge-get celebration bonanza. (yes. that is totally the name of it.)
08/09/11 - John: Advise Eridan on birthday party necessities.
08/11/11 - John: Be highly disturbed by prospect of Diglett’s underside.
08/14/11 - John: Assist Rose with Magihoarde.
08/14/11 - John: Greet Tavros. Again.
08/15/11 - John: Inquire as to Midori’s upset state in the face of evolution.
08/16/11 - John: Find miracle cure for Lestat. (Possibly. Hopefully.)
08/17/11 - John: Inquire about proper TM usage.
08/18/11 - John: Greet Kairi...again.
08/20/11-08/26/11 - John & Rose: Go on camping-trip-dino-hunt-vacation-date-extravaganza. Tell ghost stories and Have lots of feelings jams.
08/21/11 - John: Meet Becquerel...who is decidedly no longer a dog. Weird.
08/22/11 - Be disturbed by a random, living harlequin.
08/22/11 - John: Meet your Other Father.
08/22/11 - John: Discuss Rangiku's horrible wanted posters.
08/22/11 - John: Greet Erika Anderson.
08/25/11 - John: Try to help Terezi with her cave problem.
08/25/11 - John: Discuss Dave and Eridan's "break up".
08/26/11 - John: Butt dial Johto, broadcast awkward splinter removal.
08/29/11 - John: Have a heart-to-heart with Vriska. Become moirails. (backdated)
09/05/11 - John: Be a dashing knight. Save your fair damsel from a
not-sototally ferocious dragon.October - December 2011
10/01/11 - John: Talk to Tavros about Gamzee's disappearance.
10/01/11 - John: Receive troublesom text message from Dave.
10/02/11 - John: Discuss Halloween with Vriska.
10/02/11 - John: Welcome Karkat and Eridan back to Johto.
10/07/11 - John: Meet Midori in person. Finally!
10/07/11 - John: Have a good laugh at Eridan's expense.
10/08/11 - John: Discuss Halloween with Jade.
10/08/11 - John: Inform Feferi of the greatness that is Halloween.
10/09/11 - John: Discuss moirallegiance with Karkat.
10/09/11 - John: Watch Dave ride a bucking she-bronco.
10/13/11 - John: Offer Yosuke sleeping tips.
10/17/11 - John: Volunteer to help decorate Other Father's Children's Home.
10/17/11 - John: Wish Luke a happy birthday. (backdated)
11/02/11 - John: Learn who stole all your Halloween candy.
11/10/11 - John: Purchase Swablu egg from Cecil.
11/15/11 - John: Offer Vriska training advice.
11/16/11 - John: Nerdgasm over Kanto announcement.
11/17/11 - John: Pick on Eridan about his supposed date.
11/18/11 - John: Answer Clover's question.
11/18/11 - John: Discuss a WHOLE LOT OF FEELINGS with Karkat.
11/19/11 - John: Talk to Yosuke about more disappearances.
11/19/11 - John: Teach Misaki about evolution.
11/20/11 - John: Have feelings jam with Vriska.
11/21/11 - John: Tremble before the terror that is Stitchzilla.
11/22/11 - John: Treat Rose to a very romantic stay-home date.
11/23/11 - John: Be among the first to make the trip to Saffron.
11/23/11 - John: Discuss the "Human Caterpie" with Riku onboard the Magnet Train.
11/23/11 - John: Offer Cecil gym tips after the train heist.
11/23/11 - John: Receive worried phone call from Other Father in light of News Report about the Magnet Train.
11/24/11 - John: Discuss baked goods and parties with Pinkie Pie.
12/03/11 - John & Rose: Attempt to give Dave the gift of a blind date for his birthday.
12/10/11 - John: Ctrl+t. (Fourth Wall Event)
12/10/11 - Trickster!John: Creep Dave out. (Fourth Wall Event)
ACT TWO
Okay, no that was a lie. In fact it's only been one year and it isn't even the future, because now the future is the present. Anyway, this new year undoubtedly brings with it countless new opportunities for shenanigans and fun times.
And so continues John's journey to be the very best...
January - March 2012
01/27/12 - John: Congratulate Tavros and Vriska on a solid victory over Whitney.
01/27/12 - John: Be pranked by Rose for all of Johto to see. Again.
01/27/12 - John: Lament with Dave over being humiliated by the two Heroes of Light.
01/30/12 - John: Answer Luke's Puzzle Day riddle.
01/31/12 - John: Discuss Oak's senility with Yosuke.
02/02/12 - John: Diss Dave's metaphor prowess and plan pseudohomoromantic time.
02/05/12 - John: Advise Luke on how to get girls to notice you.
02/07/12 - John: Discuss permanence of death with Kimblee.
02/07/12 - John: Have a winter
teahot cocoa party with Rose.02/11/12 - John: Meet Hiccup, learn of his Viking origin.
02/12/12 - John: Discuss Shiny Togepis with Arturia.
02/13/12 - John: Congratulate Vriska on her shiny capture.
02/14/12 - Geico: Critique Prick's technique in picking up chicks.
02/14/12 - John: Behold the dazzle of Major Armstrong.
02/14/12 - John: Discuss Valentine's plans with Feferi.
02/14/12 - John: Have special Valentine's Jam session with Other Father.
02/14/12 - John: Give Jade the gift of tanglebuddy cupcakes.
02/14/12 - John: Be serenaded by Dave. You are the Forevergirl. It is you.
02/14/12 - John: Go on Valentine's date with Rose. Propose.
02/15/12 - John: Be an egg salesman. Discuss aftermath of Valentine's love-high with Rose.
02/15/12 - John: Explain the phenomenon that is evolution to Rapunzel.
02/20/12 - John: Help the Doctor figure out what's wrong with his Woobat.
02/21/12 - John: Meet Souji in light of Yosuke's disappearance.
02/21/12 - John: Attempt to cheer up Naoto.
April - June 2012
04/11/12 - John: Inform Feferi on the best place to surf.
04/19/12 - John: Holy crap Kimblee is on fire.
04/22/12 - John: Attempt to cheer up Tavros in light of Dave's third disappearance.
04/22/12 - John: Attempt to cheer up Jade, learn about Dave's letters.
04/22/12 - John: Bond with Vriska over mutual need to punch Dave.
04/25/12 - John: Purchase Litwick egg from Archer.
04/28/12 - John: Obtain Rainbow badge; help Nakadile live up to his name.
05/01/12 - John: Attempt to answer Rose's riddle.
05/07/12 - John: Geek out at Otakon.
05/10/12 - John: Bond(?) with Karkat.
05/12/12 - John: Meet Vriska's slimy new pal, promise to take on Team Rocket with her next time.
06/18/12 - John: Wish OF a Happy Father's Day.
06/20/12 - John: Meet Harley Quinn. Yes. That Harley Quinn.
06/21/12 - John: It's showtime.
06/26/12 - John: Be the Ectobiologist.
06/27/12 - John: Watch vicious Garchomp battle; meet Xion.
06/29/12 - John: Shoot the Breeze with Ryoji.
06/30/12 - John: Fly to Blackthorn, comfort Vriska. (backdated)
July - September 2011
07/07/12 - John: Meet your Grand-Golett.
07/08/12 - John: Have mixed feelings over Dave's return.
07/08/12 - John: Welcome back, Sollux.
07/08/12 - John: Tavros too? Jesus it's like a Homestuck reunion or something. This is great. (backdated)
07/08/12 - John: Then Eridan showed up and it was considerably less great.
07/08/12 - John: Meet...Alexander the Great? Well okay then.
07/16/12 - John: Destroy OF's bathroom with newfound mutant Thundercat powers. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/16/12 - John: Applaud Jade's excellent Pokegear destruction. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/12/12 - John: Run into an explosively sneezing Luke. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/17/12 - John: "Chat" with OF in the garden. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/18/12 - John: Behold Apollo's mutation. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/18/12 - John: Spend time with Rose in the garden. (OUTBREAK EVENT)
07/24/12 - Discuss Team Rocket with Karkat.
08/07/12 - John: Greet Nepeta. (again...)
08/11/12 - John: Discuss ghosts and pranks with Yuugi.
08/13/12 - John: Join Vriska's FLARP team.
08/19/12 - John: Advise Karkat on dealing with quarreling friends.
08/19/12 - John: Have feelings jam with Vriska.
08/19/12 - John: Help Pest with his evolution problem.
08/21/12 - John: Advise Shinn on fixing misunderstandings.
08/22/12 - John: Spend time with OF in the garden for his Johtoversary.
08/22/12 - John: Meet Equius. (FINALLY!)
09/03/12 - John: Meet your Other Mother.
09/00/12 - John: Pester Nepeta.
09/08/12 - John: Attempt to help Tavros out of Ilex.
09/09/12 - Casey: Listen to Slash's attempt to speak human.
09/15/12 - John: Welcome Gamzee back to-- wait never mind, he's psycho.
09/15/12 - John: Interrupt Rose, Gamzee, and Karkat's conversation.
09/15/12 - John: Be Rose's therapist.
09/16/12 - John: Say hello to Dave the Fifth.
09/15/12 - John: Answer Reid's survey.
09/26/12 - John: Discuss Sollux's lack of common sense when it comes to NPCs.
09/24/12 - John: Disuss mutations and Gardevoir with Joshua.
09/29/12 - John: Honesty hour with Rose.
09/29/12 - John: Honesty hour with Dave.
09/29/12 - John: Honesty hour with Karkat.
09/29/12 - John: Honesty hour with Karkat: Part II, Revenge of the Nubhorn.
09/29/12 - John: Greet Vriska in the "traditional moirail fashion."
October - December 2012
10/05/12 - John: Tetht Mythtique'th abilitieth.
10/10/12 - John: Nope.
10/15/12 - John: Dithcuth favorite thity with Karkat.
10/16/12 - Casey: Have a staredown with Dora.
10/16/12 - John: Spend time with OF in light of OM's disappearance.
10/16/12 - John: Seek tournament tips.
10/17/12 - John: Discuss Chuck with Winry.
10/24/12 - John: Meet
facedadtwinJake.10/24/12 - John: Meet Bro after forever and a half million years...okay one year. And a couple of months.
10/25/12 - John:
Lie toTell Eridan about Halloween.10/25/12 - John: Deal with Rose's possession.
10/26/12 - John: Are we talking to Gamzee or Equius here? We just don't know.
10/26/12 - John: And then Luke was a Zubatman villain.
11/03/12 - John: Advise Jake on proper Litwick care.
11/08/12 - John & Dave: Rap-off!!!!!!
11/08/12 - John: Worry for Stitch and Metal's safety.
11/14/12 - John: Be the romance guru.
11/15/12 - John: Discuss sweet sixteens and movies with Jake.
11/15/12 - John: Compare rosters with Karkat.
11/17/12 - Casey: Ask network to be friends.
11/18/12 - John: Meet Bowser. That's right. The Bowser.
11/18/12 - John: Welcome Aradia back to Johto. It's been too long
11/18/12 - John: Meet Roxy.
11/18/12 - John: OH GOD NO VIOLET WHY?! WORST PARTY LOCATION.
11/19/12 - John: Grieve for lost father figures with Luke.
11/19/12 - Casey: Share knowledge of grieving humans with Fugue.
11/20/12 - John: Discuss Yamask memory with Apollo.
11/20/12 - John: Talk tournament with Vriska.
11/21/12 - John: Congratulate Ryo on tournament victory and badge.
11/21/12 - John: Take Rose on a Dragonair Gondola ride.
11/22/12 - John: Check up on Jake in light of Sprout Tower fire broadcast.
11/23/12 - John: Meet your Nanna who is your alternate universe granddaughter through technically your mother but also your lab daughter.
11/24/12 - John: Somehow acquire a Castform. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Meet the Signless. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Be triggered by Kankri. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Meet Grandpa Harley. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Laugh at Dave's doofus hood. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Ahaha Karkat has a doofus hood too. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Braid Rosepunzel's hair. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/24/12 - John: Boggle over weirdness with Riku. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/25/12 - John: Keep calm and go Trickster. Attempt to eat a Vanillish. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/25/12 - Trickster!John: Creep on your "best bro". (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/25/12 - Trickster!John: Creep on your "sister". (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
11/27/12 - John: Discuss aftermath of fourth wall weekend with Rose.
11/29/12 - John: Have a laugh at Vanitas's expense.
12/01/12 - John: Learn of Bartz's disappearance and multiple-world hopping from Cecil.
12/01/12 through 12/04/12 - John: Attend four-day birthday party palooza.
12/04/12 - John: See an old, familiar, hat-wearing
lineface.12/07/12 - John: Congratulate Jake on his badge get, discuss Whitney.
12/08/12 - John: Discuss shinies, breeding, and Pokefamily with Aradia and Jake.
12/11/12 - John: comfort Jane in light of Roxy's disappearance.
12/12/12 - John: Mourn loss of moirail.
12/13/12 - John: Return dis* to its rightful owner.
12/14/12 - John: Figure out exactly what to get Jake for Christmas.
12/17/12 - John: Be ghost-robbed.
12/17/12 - John: Attempt to help Aradia with poisoning problem.
12/17/12 - John: Admire Sora's Christmas Torterra Tree; Learn of Riku's imminent carol solo.
12/18/12 - John: Happy Johtoversary, Emmy!
12/18/12 - John: Welcome Kanaya back to Johto.
12/18/12 - John: Meet Mom, spill the engagement beans.
12/18/12 - John: Meet Dirk.
12/18/12 - John: Welcome Bro back to Johto. Sure is Strilondes this week.
12/18/12 - John: Purchase Shuppet egg from Cecil.
12/18/12 - John: Boggle at the fact that there are now apparently two Rikus.
12/20/12 - John: Discuss apocalypse with Karkat.
12/22/12 - John: Learn what happened to your Swampert and Venomoth.
12/23/12 - John: Listen to Riku's Christmas Carol.
12/25/12 - John: Be jelly of Raidou's ability to understand Pokemon.
12/25/12 - John: Ponder over aging process in Johto with Cecil.
12/25/12 - John: Attend Christmas Party.
12/26/12 - John: Advise Jane in aftermath of Christmas party.
12/26/12 - John: Give Karkat a lesson in Human Puberty 101.
ACT THREE
It is your third year in Johto, and as with the two preceding it, you couldn't be happier to be trapped here. The only thing that eludes you is a way to stay here forever...
January - March 2013
02/04/13 - Princess Johnita: Wake.
02/04/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Dave.
02/04/13 - John: Apologize to Bro.
02/05/13 - John: Describe Zoruas to Terezi.
02/05/13 - Homestuck Cast: Gang up on Dave and his usage of "Love Batter".
02/06/13 - John and Michael J.: Meet Mirage and Slash.
02/07/13 - John: Learn about Pokémon and Japanese mythology from Misaki.
02/09/13 - John: Tell Johto about
Homestuckectobiology.02/09/13 - John: Agree to disagree on "fine" cinema.
02/09/13 - John: Learn of Kairi's disappearance from Sora.
02/10/13 - John: Meet Obito, discuss ninjas.
02/11/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Jake.
02/12/13 - John: Meet Tenten.
02/12/13 - John: RSVP to OF's garden party.
02/12/13 - John: Learn of Nepeta's disappearance from Equius.
02/14/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Mom.
02/14/13 - John and Rose: Showdown against your stolen Pokemon.
02/14/13 - John: Tell Bro about Bowser's attack.
02/14/13 - John: Tell Mom about Bowser's attack.
02/14/13 - John: Have a giant group friend date.
02/14/13 - John: Attend OF's garden party.
02/14/13 - John: Hang out with Raz.
02/14/13 - John: Save party from OF's cooking.
02/14/13 - John: Meet Alex the Zorua.
02/15/13 - John and Rose: Set up booth at Breeder's Con.
02/15/13 - John: Meet Yayoi and Muse.
02/17/13 - John: Answer (pointless) voicemail from Terezi.
02/17/13 - John: Meet
ParaNorman.02/18/13 - John: Greet Crazy Gamzee for the second time.
02/19/13 - John: Admire Sunshine the beautiful new Roselia.
02/21/13 - John: Discuss Pokemon contraceptives with Joshua.
02/22/13 - Homestuck Cast: Roleplay each other.
02/22/13 - John: Deal with aftermath of Rose pretending to be you.
02/24/13 - John: Meet Ellis, help him with a breeding problem.
02/28/13 - John: Wish Honey a happy birthday.
03/01/13 - John: Have a friendly chat with Tenten about various things.
03/04/13 - John: Have heart-to-heart with Vriska following her return.
03/06/13 - John: Congratulate Jake and Dirk.
03/06/13 - John: Call Jane to see how she's doing in light of Dirk/Jake.
03/06/13 - John: Make plans with Dave to pick up Jane.
03/06/13 - John: Call Rose to let her know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/06/13 - John: Call Jade to let her know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/06/13 - John: Call Bro to let him know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/06/13 - John: Call Mom to let her know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/06/13 - John: Call Karkat to let him know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/06/13 - John: Call Terezi to let her know about brotastic-nanna-pickup-travel-plans.
03/08/13 - Señor John and Señor Dave: Arrive at Jane's door.
03/20/13 - John: Attempt conversation with ERidan in light of Vriska's disappearance.
03/21/13 - John: Chat with Misaki.
03/21/13 - John: Chat with Jack about Kanto vaycay.
03/25/13 - John and Grace: Wake up Bro.
03/25/13 - John: Talk strategy with Val.
03/25/13 - John: Cheer up Jane.
03/28/13 - John: Accept Rose's invitation to be her prom +1.
03/30/13 - John: Teach Aradia the Chicken Dance.
03/31/13 - John: Answer drunk voicemail from Valeria.
April - June 2013
04/01/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Jake concerning candy apple prank.
04/02/13 - John: Discuss pranks and glitter with Rose.
04/04/13 - John: Discuss prom with Perona.
04/05/13 - John: Tear up the dance floor at Prom.
04/05/13 - John: Dance with Kanaya.
04/05/13 - John: Chat with Terezi.
04/05/13 - John: Give Jane some dance lessons.
04/05/13 - John: Chat with Karkat.
04/05/13 - John: Cut rugs in the most ironic fashion with Dave.
04/05/13 - John: Chill in the Elite Four's Library.
04/05/13 - Chandel: Meet Grace and Steve.
04/11/13 - John: Witness Bro milking his Miltank.
04/13/13 - John: Recieve birthday present from Bro.
04/13/13 - John: Recieve birthday present from Tenten.
04/13/13 - John: Request happy stories from network.
04/14/13 - John: Recieve birthday present from Misaki.
04/14/13 - John: Check up on Tenten and her Luxray in Sand Tomb aftermath.
04/15/13 - John: Leave thank-you voicemail for Misaki.
04/18/13 - John: Welcome Jane back to the land of the non-coma'd.
04/21/13 - John: Cheer up Jake in light of Dirk's disappearance.
04/22/13-05/02/13 - Pewterstuck Crew: Brave Mt. Moon
04/22/13 - John: Greet a friendly face. A familiar face. Maka Albarn is back in Johto!
04/23/13 - John: Meet Ishimaru.
04/23/13 - John: Talk to Spike the Dragon about proper egg care.
04/23/13 - John: Enlist Aradia's help in a brilliant prank on Dave.
04/26/13 - John: Teach Valeria about Litwicks.
04/26/13 - EV News: Post secrets.
04/27/13 - John: Reassure Shaun.
04/27/13 - John: Congratulate Ellis on badge get.
04/27/13 - John: Talk to Steve about Eeveelutions.
04/27/13 - John: Speculate the best way to attract Clefairies with Vanitas.
05/01/13 - John: Offer friendly words to Misaki.
05/05/13 - John: Sympathize with Cecil's Grimer problem.
05/05/13 - John: Replace Dave and Rose's shampoos with neon hair dye.
05/07/13 - John: Explain festivals to Sollux.
05/11/13 - Exos: Attempt to make friends.
05/11/13 - John: Meet Carter Blake.
05/12/13 - John: Discuss Gym Leader pride with Tenten.
05/12/13 - John: Leave a Mother's day present for Mom.
05/12/13 - John: Leave a Mother's day present for Bro.
05/13/13 - John: Wish Arturia a happy birthday.
05/13/13 - John: Wonder where the hell Terezi's pants are.
05/14/13 - John: Learn the truth of Lavender Town.
05/15/13 - John: Meet Lilo.
05/18/13 - John: Tell Maka about all the ~fun~ things to do in Violet.
05/19/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Maka concerning her Duskull stalker.
05/19/13 - John and Dave: Ask Johto who makes a prettier girl.
05/20/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Karkat concerning ear piercing.
05/21/13 - John: Boggle at Joonhee's Pokémon love...what shape is that even?
05/21/13 - John: Attempt to cheer up Vanitas.
05/27/13 - John: Offer Joshua advice.
05/28/13 - John: Discuss "what next" with Karkat.
05/30/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Valeria.
05/31/13 - John: Reunite with Jade. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Reunite with Luke. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Hit on your best bro's girl self. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Reunite with loving father. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Come to the realization that you and Rose are going to have the most adorable kids one day. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Stand in awe of Tenten's amazing ninja skills, do some exercise. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Have a laugh with a vampire. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
05/31/13 - John: Share a smoothie with Grubkat. (FOURTH WALL EVENT)
06/03/13 - John: Leave Karkat a beautiful picture of Grubkat.
06/03/13 - John: Leave Dave a beautiful picture of Dawn.
06/03/13 - John & Casey: Leave Rose beautiful pictures of her child self.
06/04/13 - John: Attempt to help Obito out of Dark Cave.
06/03/13 - John: Play pictionary with Shaun.
06/05/13 - John: Attempt to help Ash out from between his rock and a hard place.
06/05/13 - John: Bond over ghosts with Botan.
06/08/13 - John: Glitch out of your anniversary date. Repeatedly. (Two part post)
06/09/13 - John: Learn of Jake's disappearance from Aradia.
06/10/13 - John: Wonder vaguely if Sollux hacked the world too hard.
06/20/13 - John, Rose, Dave: Memory coma wake up x3 combo.
06/20/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Jade.
06/22/13 - John: Receive letter from Rose.
06/22/13 - John: Inform Dave of Rose's flight.
06/24/13 - John: Draw a
circledot, there'sthe worldmy hometown!06/26/13 - John: Become professional nightblogger.
06/27/13 - John: Discuss Celebi with Cecil.
06/28/13 - John: Discuss summer heat and talking 'mons with Riku.
July - September 2013
07/02/13 - John: Meet Neji
07/03/13 - John: Plush bunny owners, unite!!
07/03/13 - John: Learn of Joonhee's disappearance.
07/04/13 - John: Approve of Aradia's fashion choice that you sent her in the first place.
07/05/13 - John: Talk tactics with Yusuke.
07/07/13 - John: Offer suggestions to better Pinkie Pie's Pokérobics.
07/08/13 - John: Rejoice for high Gamzee has returned.
07/10/13 - John: Offer Jane advice for dealing with sharp steel types.
07/10/13 - John: Welcome Perona Back to Johto.
07/11/13 - John: Give Perona the gift of firepower.
07/11/13 - John: Talk insecurities and complexes with Chihiro.
07/13/13 - John: Tell Vanille about Yamask.
07/13/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Bro, regret it because anal and whale peen, wtf Bro.
07/14/13 - John: Have a coffee-fueled feelings jame with Rose at 3am.
07/14/13 - John: Talk siblinghood with Ishimaru.
07/14/13 - John: Applaud Kiwi's new trick.
07/14/13 - John: See what Jack is up to.
07/14/13 - John: Tell Snake all about Dunsparce.
07/20/13 - John: Greet Keiko.
07/20/13 - John: Greet Lieutenant Hawkeye.
07/21/13 - John: Inform Demyx of Suee's whereabouts.
07/21/13 - John: Welcome Roxy back to Johto.
07/22/13 - John: Offer Reno advice on dealing with bitey Pokémon.
07/23/13 - John: Answer voicemail from Tenten, gossip like schoolgirls.
07/23/13 - John: Voicemail from Tenten: take two! Dating deets.
07/24/13 - John: Tell Twilight about the botched seance. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/24/13 - John: Learn of Lilo's disappearance form Honey. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/24/13 - John: Hunt fossils with Aradia. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/25/13 - John: Find a new friend in the toilet. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/26/13 - John: Witness Rider's near-decapitation. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/26/13 - John: Meet Perona's new hard-headed playmate. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
07/26/13 - John: Witness Romeo and Juliet: Fossil Style on Cecil's roof. (DAWN OF AN OLD ERA EVENT)
08/02/13 - John: Offer condolences to Aradia about the museum being closed.
08/02/13 - John: Give Shinn a status report.
08/03/13 - John: Meet Aoi Asahina.
08/05/13 - John: Boggle vacantly at RTR.
08/05/13 - John: Talk friendship with Naegi.
08/06/13 - John: Witness the miracle of Tangle Buddies.
08/06/13 - John: Answer Dave's survey.
08/06/13 - John, Dave, and Aradia: What even is this clusterfuck.
08/07/13 - John: Offer Ishimaru fashion advice.
08/08/13 - John: Congratulate Rarity on her shop opening.
08/09/13 - John: Discuss disappearances and promises with Winry.
08/09/13 - John: Ponder over what kind of trainer you would like to be.
08/10/13 - John: Sample Aradia's chocolates. Regret being a good friend.
08/10/13 - John: Submit entry to food contest.
08/11/13 - John: Tell Mondo about all the sights in Johto and Kanto.
08/13/13 - John: RTR... it keeps hapening.
08/14/13 - John: Wish Naruto a good morning after his memory coma.
08/15/13 - John: Meet Perona's new little Treat.
08/18/13 - John: Sell ghost eggs.
08/18/13 - John: Ask Aradia about her ghostly abilities.
08/19/13 - Congratulate Elizabeth and Snake on first battle victory.
08/28/13 - John and Davy Jones: Attempt to cheer up Rose after Mom's disappearance.
09/01/13 - John: Discuss Pokémon move ridiculousness with Riku.
09/08/13 - John: Learn of Sollux's second disappearance.
09/19/13 - John: Meet Walter, behold the magic that is Automatize.
09/19/13 - John: Discuss legends with Ishimaru.
October - December 2013
10/01/13 - John: Talk to Tenten about box limits, Sasuke, and fighting tourneys.
10/03/13 - John: RSVP to John's Haunted House.
10/04/13 - John: Discuss "What Next" with Kanaya.
10/04/13 - John: Leave Aradia a voicemail about the Haunted House.
10/06/13 - John: Answer 2am text message from Dave.
10/10/13 - John: Attend Naruto's Sweet Sixteen.
10/13/13 - John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Aradia & Kanaya: Go to Jack's Haunted House.
10/18/13 - John: Teach Aradia the Halloween tradition of Jack o' Lanterns.
10/22/13 - John & Imhotep: Prank Dave.
10/22/13 - John: Discuss home with Yusuke.
10/25/13 - John: Discuss castle with Riku. [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/25/13 - John: Go exploring with Dave. [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/25/13 - John: Reunite with Luke. [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/25/13 - John: Rescue Shaun from monsters [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/26/13-10/27/13 - John: Have assorted adventures in Nightmare Castle. [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/28/13 - John: Run into Ishimaru. [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
10/30/13 - John: BOSS FIGHT STRIFE!!!!!! [NIGHTMARE CASTLE EVENT]
11/01/13 - John: Discuss events of Nightmare Castle with Tenten.
11/09/13 - John: Discuss TM woes with Cecil.
11/10/13 - John: How is Pokémon inherited?
11/19/13 - John: Welcome Dirk Strider back to Johto.
11/25/13 - John: Reunite with loving father. [FOURTH WALL]
11/25/13 - John: THIS IS ENOUGH DAVES. [FOURTH WALL]
11/26/13 - John: Interrupt Ishimaru's moment of Ho-Oh Adoration. [FOURTH WALL]
12/03/13-12/04/13 - John: Be the party elf.
12/03/13 - John: Comfort Tenten, but not really because she totally actually doesn't need it.
12/05/13 - John: Curse luck over Jade's return date.
12/06/13 - John: Bake brownies with Rose.
12/10/13 - John: Battle Tenten.
12/10/13 - John: Talk Christmas cookies with Mondo.
12/15/13 - John: Commiserate with Cecil over Bad fourth wall luck.
12/16/13 - John: Discuss video games with Nanami.
12/23/13 - John: Rejoice for it is a Christmas Crocker miracle!
12/25/13 - John: Play a carol duet with Ilya.
12/25/13 - John: Meet Snake's ringmaster: Joker. (No he does not want to kill Batman.)
ACT FOUR
==>
Johtostuck began on January 16th, 2011, the day our chief protagonist and future ghost type-master, John Egbert was accepted to
Anyway, all that changed when he was brought to Johto. Depite the fact that he'd been in the middle of something really damn important back home, somehow he managed to-- oh fuck it at this rate the intro blurb will be longer than any of the thread link comments.
Look, some stuff happened to John and if you're really curious about what it, you can just look at all those other damn links in the comments above this one. Or just ask John yourself, through your character. Or maybe one day I'll get really bored and actually finish this dumb thing, man wouldn't that be something?
January - March 2014
01/05/14 - John: Meet "Dave" and "John".
01/05/14 - John: Join the PGC.
01/05/14 - John: Get slightly philosophical with Tenten.
01/07/14 - John: Make a full recovery and introduce Stella.
01/12/14 - John: Believe in miracles.
01/12/14 - John: Learn fun facts about the Dangan Eevee horde.
01/14/14 - John: Respond to sooper dooper top secret PCG info gathering memo.
01/15/14 - John: Leave Tenten a message.
01/16/14 - John: Happy three year Johtoversary.
01/19/14 - John: Weigh cruelties against wonderfulosities with Kirigiri.
01/22/14 - John: Help Jake with his ghost.
01/25/14 - John: Answer SEVERAL text messages from Dave.
01/26/14 - John: Answer text message from Tenten; explain hipsters.
01/30/14 - John: Wish Rose a happy Johtoversary; get romanced.
02/03/14 - John: Welcome Roxy back. Again.
02/04/14 - John: Welcome Ishimaru back to the world of the living.
02/08/14 - John: Discuss roster size with Dirk.
02/10/14 - John: Meet Tsumiki.
02/13/14 - John: Play with the bloobers.
02/14/14 - John: Thank Joker for the flowers.
02/14/14 - John: Offer Snake unneeded romance advice.
02/14/14 - John: Wish Jane and Tenten a Happy Valenslime's.
02/17/14 - John: Have a laugh at Jade's expense.
02/17/14 - John: Meet Jimmy Two-Shoes.
02/18/14 - John: Recieve Razorbird egg from Tenten.
02/18/14 - John: Theorize about Bloobers with Naegi.
02/24/14 - John: Offer movie recommendations to Walter.
03/02/14 - John: Donate to the Eve's Garden Circus.
03/02/14 - John: Meet Doll.
03/03/14 - John: Help Tenten plan her birthday party.
03/05/14 - John: Check up on Jimmy.
03/07/14 - John: Welcome Asahina back to Johto.
03/07/14 - John: Teach Tsumiki about shinies.
03/07/14 - John & DJ: Be in awe of Splash's tricks.
03/09/14-03/10/14 - John: Attend Tenten's hot springs birthday.
03/10/14 - John: Offer Saionji cake-making lessons.
03/12/14 - John: Give aforementioned cake-making lessons.
03/14/14 - John: Leave White Day gift for Kirigiri.
03/14/14 - John: Leave White Day gift for Tenten.
03/14/14 - John: Leave White Day gift for Tsumiki.
03/14/14 - John: Leave White Day gift for Jane.
03/16/14 - John: Welcome Chihiro back to Johto.
03/16/14 - John: Meet Cynthia the hero.
03/22/14 - John: Agree to a super secret PGC Prom meetup.