ghostytrainer | prank #44

Current Location: saffron inn

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prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e

holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

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i'm not mad at you, htough!
i never really was. even on the ship, it was never actaully you i was mad at.
but loking back on it now i gues i can see why you thougt that.
so i'm sorry about that.
lots of things are rwong though, jade!
i wish i'd nevr fallen into that stpid coma thing!!!!!!!!!!
i don't like being all caught up. i lkied it better when i had no idea what was going on bakc hmoe.
or not NO idea but like... fuck it's hard to explain.

home is scary, john
all of these changes we are going through
and then there are people asking me if i am still all dark and evil like i was the last time they saw me
i dont want to believe that something like that happened to me but!! i cant just assume that karkat was lying either
he wouldnt do that
i wish i did not leave you all alone in this world either
i wish i could have just STAYED instead of coming back and not remembering anything
john, tell me, does this have something to do with why i have not seen or spoken with rose since you all woke up again?
she mentioned something about a hangover and...that is definitely not the rose i know
she HATED her moms drinking
did you have a fight?

it's ko, jade. you don't hve to be sorry for that.
it hapens and i'm used to it by nwo.
but taht definitely doesn't sound like you. :( maybe karkt is just confused?
or maybe ther are other froces at work taht we don't know about.
but yes, rose does have smethign to do with it.
shes' not the whole thing, but a bigpart of it!
idk why rose started driknig, she wouldn't tell me and fuck hold on a second this is dmb.

[John switches the feed over to audio, simultaneously slapping a lock on it just in case. Though he sounds tired, John is at least coherent (though rambling without really stopping to breathe) now as opposed to mistyping every other word.]

Fucking fingers, christ why didn't you just ask me to switch earlier? Anyway... we didn't have a fight, no. I think she was understandably a little upset when we woke up and I couldn't remember that we were engaged. But I eventually remembered and I thought everything was okay but apparently not because she left a couple of days ago. When Dave was on his way to come get you, I figured he would have mentioned it to you but I guess he didn't?

She didn't tell me shit about her last year on the meteor and Dave doesn't want to tell me either, which is understandable and I am not going to push him about it. Because I would rather hear it from Rose herself whenever she's ready to talk about it but... she just up and left, Jade. Just left me a note telling me she had to sort things out and that she was going on ahead for a while and I don't know what's going on. Something is definitely wrong and I think maybe she might want to break up with me too? The way she worded the note and then on top of that she's been ignoring my texts ever since she left. I haven't even been bothering her to talk to me about what happened back home or anything! Just telling her good morning and good night and that I love her because I do any I just want her to come back. I want to help but she won't let me because I don't know why.

Remember all that stuff I said on the ship? About not caring about romance? I was wrong, Jade, I do care but I guess I convinced myself that I didn't just because I was miserable? Just like how I convinced myself that I liked Vriska when really I think it had more to do with the fact that she was the first person to ever really show an interest in me like that. I barely even knew her back then and now...

[He gives a weak chuckle.]

Never mind, that's a completely different can of worms that I am not sure if I ever want to open. Rose finally texted me back and she's still using petnames for me and everything but I still can't help but feel like maybe she's second guessing our relationship. Like maybe she finally realized what was true from the beginning and that she can do way better than me. And even though that will probably never stop being true, I realize now that I am not okay with that possibility? I don't want to lose her, Jade, even if it's selfish of me to want that. Or... not want that? Whatever, you get what I mean.

[Oh god.

This was way more than what she was expecting. Whatever happened on the meteor, whatever happened here in Pokemon world, it seemed to be crashing down on all of them now. Being a kid is hard, it's hard and no one understands.]

It's not--selfish to be afraid of losing someone you care for! I'm always afraid that one day I'm going to wake up and you'll all be gone or--or dead. Like what happened to Grandpa.

But...Rose is Rose, she's smart and into that psychoanalysis stuff...I am sure that if you give her time to herself, she will be able to reflect on the decisions she's made the past three years and come to a conclusion herself. Outside of that, she knows that she has us here--before you were engaged or before anything else, we are all best friends, nothing will change that.

[This is hard to talk about sitting alone in a room.]

Ummmm...where are you right now?

[TO be honest, it was more than John was expecting too. Were he more rested, this conversation wouldn't be happening. Not with Jade, not with Dave, not with anybody. Like everything else that bothers him, John was just going to let this fester (and possibly blow up about it a year later, we just can't be sure). But with actual nightmares as opposed to dream bubble memories keeping him up, his plan backfired.]

I know I need to be patient and I'm really trying to! Because it's Rose and I love her and I don't want to potentially drive her away any more than I possibly already have. But it's hard, Jade. It's hard being in the dark about something like this and it's driving me crazy.

[Patience has never been John's strong suit. Jade probably knows this better than anybody at this point.]

But to answer your question I am in my room.

Okay.

I will be right there.

[Click! What's that sound, John?

FOOTSTEPS? COMING ON UP TO YOUR DOOR?

Knock knock, John, it's your sister.]

[John jumps and scrambles out of bed, turning off his movie as he stumbles towards the door to let Jade in. He probably should have taken the extra ten seconds or so to stop and pull on a pair of pants but in this state, he hadn't even really thought about it. So he answers the door clad in only his black Haunter shirt and a pair of light-blue, cloud-print Drifloon boxers. He's a bit of a mess, his hair tousled even moreso than normal and his eyes shadowed with what can only be days worth of skipped sleep. And overall, he just looks exhausted, despite his protests to the contrary. Thank god he wasn't so far gone that he stopped showering, even if he hasn't left his room.]

[He looks at Jade for a minute, wordlessly, before moving forward to catch her in a tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder. Is it obvious that he's been craving human physical contact for a while now? Because he has.]

[She holds him as steadily as she can--though, with John's return, he has gotten taller and a little heavier--and sighs.]

It'll be okay, John. It will be okay.

[Jade can't necessarily promise this, but her intuition will always tell her that good things are coming to those who wait patiently for them.]

I know, I keep telling myself that but... it's really hard, Jade! Waiting and not being able to do anything is really hard and I hate it!! I feel useless.

[He pulls back, but keeps his hands on Jade's upper arms. As though she's some kind of weird, fleshy, slightly shorter support beam.]

I can't do anything to help her other than sit here and be patient and not bother her about it until she gets everything figured out, whatever "everything" even is. And what good is any of that? That's basically the same as doing nothing.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to her at all, or tell her how you feel! Just preface it with saying that you understand she needs time to herself to figure things out...

Doing nothing implies that you don't care, and that's not true at all.

[He pulls his hands away and straightens up fully, scratching his nose and kind of glancing to the side for a moment.]

Yeah... I guess I'll just... wait then. [He looks back over to Jade.] I don't want to but if she keeps ignoring my texts then I don't see the point. I'll just have to wait for her to contact me.

[Which she will, later. And everything will actually work out 0k.]

[She tweaks his nose, then tightens her hug on him.]

Shhhh, it'll all be okay, I promise!

[He giggles.]

Hey, what was that for? [He pinches her arm, unable to keep from smiling a little bit.]

Duhhh, because of your stupid frowning face, stupid! [Totes mature.]

How rude! My face isn't stupid, that's so you!

[He pulls back from the hug so that he can reach up to tweak her ears. Only... yeah, her dog ears aren't there anymore are they? Oops, still gotta get used to that. Okay, he'll just pull on her dumb, stupid cheeks instead.]

[Super mature.]

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