ghostytrainer | prank #44

Current Location: saffron inn

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prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e

holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

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Did who bail? [From John's right, Dave appears as if he could still flash-step. He'd went out on the town and grabbed some pancakes at the twenty four hour dinner downtown. It's cheap, it's terrible for him, but who really cared it was food.] No, I just grabbed something since I was promised pancakes by a crazy baker man and he was too insane to deliver.

Wow. First off I am not crazy and secondly I tried to deliver! You were the one who decided to treat me like potatoes and call the whole thing off early. I was totally willing and ready to make pancakes for you.

[So rude, Dave. So fucking rude. He's perfectly sane.]

How many days have you been up, you're starting to sound like you got a drawl going. [He drags the words out, purposefully making the most stereotypical Texas accent he ever could. It goes back to normal right after that as he takes a bite of the last of his food, a slice of bacon wrapped in toast.]

We can test magical theories on baking in the morning. [A pause.] Later in the morning. [He finishes off the bacon and toast in the next bite.]

I do not have a drawl!! That's all you, Mr. Texas. Clearly, you must be tired too if you are starting to mistake your own voice for mine.

[It's the Canadian/Washingtonian thing you gotta watch out for with this one. And that's usually only when he starts ranting. John turns and walks back into the bedroom, making for the bed.]

But alright. This is me getting in bed like a good boy because you are no fun and also I promised Rose that I would. [With a FWUMP! he allows himself to fall backwards onto it, throwing his arms out at his side and taking up a good half of the bed. He'd probably be taking up the whole bed were it not for the fact that he left his legs over the edge.]

There. Are you happy now?

Edited 2013-07-26 23:05 (UTC)

[Dave circles around and sits on the edge of the bed on the far side. He'd followed him in and kicks his feet with an unreadable expression on his face. John's used to having people around when he sleeps. Dave really isn't but, he could make some exceptions.] Hey, we're just worried is all. If you want I'll hang out until you fall asleep.

[Not like he sleeps much, but hey. He can do this for his best friend.]

[John flips around in bed so that he's laying down like a normal human being does when they get into bed. Head resting on the pillow and everything, look at that! He takes his glasses off and reaches over to put them on the bedside table. Aw yeah. Can't see shit now.]

Well I guess... I can't really blame you guys for that. [He rolls over on his side to face Dave and smiles.] But you don't have to worry anymore, everything is fine now. Or well... I guess not everything, technically. But everything that isn't just yet will be.

[Dave blinks at that, his voice subtly softer as something inside him eases. Seeing John all high strung and getting insane had bothered him. Probably more than he realized.] That good, huh?

[After a moment he sighs and lays down himself, folding up his shades and putting them away.]

Cool.

Mmm... Hehe, believe it or not but I actually was worried for nothing. Or well... [His face falls a bit.] Over some things, at least.

[He still has no idea why she had started drinking in the first place, though her promise that she fully intended to stop had definitely put him at ease somewhat.]

You worry for nothing, holy shit what a revelation! Like she would leave now that she's got herself rooted into you and hasn't left for two whole goddamn years. The shitty meteor aside that's COMMITMENT, the real deal.

[He waves a hand in the air and lets it fall back against his chest with a soft thump. His jaw tenses as he suppresses a yawn. He's full of shitty dinner pancakes, buttered toast, and greasy bacon. The concept of staying awake is laughable at best.]

It isn't like some dump of memories is going to change all of that no matter what things went down in the process. Short of murdering the shit out of you, which would be a really big damper on things. How could two people even deal with that, all but nearly banging in one place and knife up through the ribs in the next. Awkward city without a bus ticket back to we were fine. Anyway, just keep talking and working through things.

That's how it's supposed to be, right? [The last part comes out a little funny, because he yawns partway through it.]

...Okay, I think you lost me about halfway through that metaphor but for the record, we are not even close to banging. Just putting that out there.

[John stifles a yawn himself. Damn those are contagious!]

But yeah, I guess I almost feel silly for worrying about that. I just thought that... maybe she found someone better. And it scared me more than I thought it would. But in the end, turns out our relationship status was the least of my worries and now I feel dumb. News at 11: John Egbert is an idiot.

But yeah. I guess that's all any of us can really do right now. Just keep talking to her. Help her through... whatever it is that's eating her.

[Is that... are those... hallelujah, his eyelids are starting to droop. Snooze train incoming.]

[He reaches out to swat John in the shoulder then settles back in with a sigh.] Don't feel guilty for worrying. It's a natural part of a relationship, or at least I think it is.

If everything was always perfect it would be like that one movie where everything was so utterly perfect in a borderline creepy way. No. It was just creepy.

I kept expecting the chainsaws or puppets, or someth-[He yawns and pretends like he never did.]-ing.

[He remembers to kick his shoes and socks off, doing so with one foot pushing against the other. Lazy asshole.]

Pfftt, hehe... yeah I guess you have a point there. [He stifles a yawn of his own.]

Two points, really. Who knew, sometimes you do have something useful to say. [He sticks his tongue out and attempts to give Dave a little shove only he misses completely because he can't really see for shit right now without his glasses.]

[If he wasn't so tired, he would have jerked his head out of the way. This is the thanks he gets for hauling his best friend to bed.]

Congratulations genius, [He deadpans in a nasally tone due to the present circumstances of John's fingers up his nostrils.] you just picked my nose.

[John seems to realize his mistake the moment his finger finds itself inside something. This is not Dave's shoulder. This is not Dave's shoulder at all how blind do you even have to BE to miss a person's shoulder. But he has kind of a delayed reaction with pulling it out. He grimaces. Maybe this isn't what he thinks it is. Maybe this is Dave's ear. Maybe th--]

[No, it's definitely Dave's nose. Thank you for clearing that up, broseph. At that point, John finally pulls his finger out, the grimace only deepening as he sits up.]

Gross! Ugh, why was your nose there?! I was aiming for your shoulder! Be right back I ned to go wash my hands. With bleach. To get rid of all the Strider germs I just came in contact with. Ew.

[He gropes on the bedside table with his uncontaminated hand for his glasses, eventually finding them and leaving the room momentarily. So. Gross.]

My nose is sorta connected to my face. You see there was this tragic accident...[Before he can finish John is fleeing. He just snorts and curls up on his side, feet tucked together as he shuts his eyes. Maybe he can be asleep by the time John comes back.]

[Despite the fuss over the dreaded Strider germs, John actually isn't gone too terribly long. He clearly did not go look for bleach, though he did scrub his hands pretty thoroughly.]

[So after a few minutes, he's back and falling onto the bed with a FWUMP after removing his glasses again.] Okay crisis averted, no need to quarantine the area. It's all good.

Cool. I wasn't planning to move anyway. [He yawns again and rolls over so he can face John.] Just remember. Golden rule here.

You stick your cold feet on my person and I will draw dicks on your face.

Don't worry, man, [He lifts his right leg and points to his foot, which is covered by a particularly loud pair of yellow-and-green striped socks. John, what is with you and these brightly colored socks, really?] I gotcha covered. You need not fear the icicle toes with me.

[He lets his leg fall back down.]

You and your socks. [Dave shakes his head and rolls back over to face the opposite wall.] Ok. Let's finally get some sleep.

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. I still say you're a party pooper though.

But I did promise. Also it feels like there is a waterfall in my brain and I'm taking that to be not a good sign.

[And yet he keeps on talking... at least his eyes are closed now and he's sort of shifting at though settling himself down for sleep.]

Night, dude.

So long as it's not a waterfall of blood and gore and horrorterrors, I think you're good. Shut up and get some sleep already. [He yawns and settles in.] Night man.

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prank #44 | text

[Action] So rude.

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