ghostytrainer | voice mail

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voice mail

Oh hey, what's up?

[There's a pause, perhaps you should tell him why you called. At least until he interrupts...]

Hey, that's cool, but guess what?!

[Another short pause, perhaps you should guess what is so important that John felt the need to interrupt your surely riveting story.]

I am not actually here right now! So leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can!

[You cannot hope to beat John Egbert in a prank-off. He is simply the best there is.]

Hehehehe...you totally fell for it, didn't you?

[Beep!]

((Please make note of the date and format of your message in the subject when tagging. ♥))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

my god you're such a dork.
sometimes it really boggles me that people think you are legitimately cool.
anyway, yeah here i am. we were up at the pool.
dj keeps making attempts to go overboard so we have to distract him with the pool every once in a while.
and stella wanted to go in tonight so we stuck her in a little innertube and let her float around it was so damn cute.

[Rose took pictures, don't be surprised if John ends up sending you some. You need a precious baby Gothita in an innertube in your life, Dave. Also this is preparation for when John actually has human babies. Because if you don't think you're going to get spammed with pictures, you have another thing coming my friend.]

but okay to address basically everything you decided to bomb me with:

so am i an oreo now? is that what i am supposed to take away from this? do you miss my creamy filling, dave?
jesus, though this is a three week long trip. i honestly would have been hurt if you didn't text me at least once. :(

is jake awkward around you or just dirk and jane?
or like...awkward in general?
you gotta be more specific, man.

don't worry, i won't tell rose.
but i'm sure jane will warm back up to you soon. event though, yes, everyone in your family is nuts.
but she's good friends with dirk, right?
so i think she just needs a little time to get used to everything again.

i'm glad you're not awkward around jade anymore.
though i think bolting her down might be crossing a bit of a line.
we'll have to find some other method of keeping her here.
i did really miss her though, but at the same time i was stuck with her for three years.
so i think in this case you might have missed her slightly more than me if we're taking residual memory stuff into account here.
i've got three years worth of zany ship adventure memories with her that you don't have and will never know about. :P

and ok look i wasn't sure if i could tell you! it was super secretive, i didn't even tell rose at first!
but i have now, yeah. we talked about it the other night and i told tenten so i think that's going to be A Thing.
but i promise next time i join a super secret society of crime fighters, i will only do it if you are RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME AT THE TIME OF ADMISSION.
happy now?

i'm all for group activities next time we get together but i have no fucking clue how to skateboard.
that's all i have to say there.

not really, no.
i never really felt like i was in charge of the group when we all traveled together.
so i didn't really feel like a cat herder.

violet sucks balls how long have i been telling you that it's basically cursed?
it's not actually a city.
it's a void of suffering masquerading as a city.
i have said this for years but, just like betty crocker being evil, nobody wanted to believe me.
but now you believe me.
lesson learned: when john says something innocuous is evil, he is definitely 100% correct.

uhh...i don't think i can help you with the rap off thing.
like i would just say for for it man he's your teen brother-dad and you've been sharing a room for how many months now?
i would think that would be weirder than asking for a rap off.
but what do i know about rap ninja etiquette. i know only the prankster's gambit.
and in that case, i feel no apprehension at all.
i'm just just trying to think of a really good one to use on her.
biding my time before i strike.

please don't put jade on a leash.
i get exactly what you're saying but i think a leash might be crossing a line.
maybe we should invest in a jade whistle.
emits frequencies only jade harley can hear.
or get her a shirt.
"if found, please return to dave strider."
then you can get a matching one: "i am dave strider."

and okay there i think that about covers everything.

pretty sure jade would punch me if i did that or find it funny
im not exactly sure which

rap ninja etiquette is you wait for the guy to settle then you knock him off his game
so yeah its about time to throw down the gloves and go pickem up because im going to make you eat that synthetic leather
with salt

hey hey youre not always correct
this city isnt that evil nothing bad happened on my birthday when i was here

ok makes sense

very happy so full of joy i could explode into cotton candy colored confetti with a load of fireworks bursting into the air
i would make the easter bunny look lazy

rude dangling that in front of me
well i have three years of funny hijinks i wont talk about either
so ha

yeah she just needs some time
and
you ever notice davesprite its around
dont you find that a little weird

yes thats right i want to lick up all your creamy filling and swallow you down
uh
i mean chew you up
wait shit
fuck dont take that that way
its not MEANT like that
oh my god
im going to just shut up now

Edited 2014-01-29 07:45 (UTC)

you know if it weren't for the bro code, i would probably show that last bit to rose.
because that sure was something there, dave. that sure was a thing you just said to me.
and it's fucking hysterical part of me wants to believe that you noticed what you said but just left it there anyway because it was ridiculous.
either way though: you've been saved by clause 11, paragraph 3b, my friend.

so would you like me to dangle something else in front of you, then?
something that's rude, but in a different sort of way? ;)

[He's just fucking with you now, Dave. Rose would be proud if she had any idea this conversation was happening. But she doesn't. Because of the bro code.]

Edited 2014-01-29 20:56 (UTC)

what

what what? ;)

[IT'S A SIMPLE YES OR NO, DAVE. DO YOU WANT HIM TO DANGLE HIS DONGLE FOR YOU OR NOT?]

you can knock off the winking
she taught you that didnt she
or you read it in the book
why did you read it
why not just skim it and pretend you did

wow, assuming i can't come up with something like winky emotes on my own.
rude as hell, dave.
（○゜ε＾○）～☆

what are you talking about though? what book???

Edited (SO MUCH HTML FAIL) 2014-01-29 22:49 (UTC)

stop
and what other book would i be talking about
the ones from christmas you dork

ok. just for you.

[Key difference between John and Rose: John stops when you ask him to.]

the ones from christmas?
OH!
the ones rose wrote?
ahaha dude you're kidding, right? i don't think i even read ten pages.
i love rose to death and all but i don't want to read homoerotic fanfiction about what is obviously supposed to be you and me.
plus it was obviously this year's gag gift.
i haven't given that book a thought since christmas, i just stuck it in the least used drawer of my bedside table and kinda forgot about it.

ok
because you copied like page four from mine almost exactly
all you needed was a bow wow chicka wow wow in there
kinda creepy

omfg.
i'm so sorry i swear i had no idea.
page four of mine was...not that. because i did get that far into it at least.
page four was actually about where i started to realize just what kind of book it was...

they must be different.

pretty sure they are
unless she hooked you up with the barista from that one town
the one with the three piercings in one ear and the smooth voice
she didnt did she

i don't know? i told you, i didn't read the whole thing.
i read far enough into the first story to realize it was thinly veiled john/dave erotica, skipped to a random page in the middle and found christmas-themed john/dave erotica, and then closed the book.

idk why she'd pair me up with that barista, though. you were the one who was hitting on him, not me.

thats my point
theyre different
would she really just troll you
actually this is a dumb topic lets move on
hows the ship
see anything cool

it is but there's one more question i have to ask now before we leave this topic forever.
does this mean that you HAVE been reading yours?

the ship is great, i've seen lots of cool stuff.
took some pictures.
you have to come with us next time, man we really just need to get the whole gang on here this summer or something.

what no
i skimmed it until i noticed a name change in who else was with me in porn land

maybe we can plan that sometime

dammit.
now you've got me morbidly curious.

yes. absolutely, i agree.

about yours or mine
im not telling about mine

mine, not yours!
you've just got me wondering now if mine has something else mixed in it too.
but at the same time i'm not sure i want to know???

basically: i hate you for even bringing this up.
i'd forgotten about this.

why couldn't you let me stay blissfully unaware.

oh no
youre not pinning this one on me
you started this
accept your prank backfired in your face because im not wearing the paper bag of shame here

no this is definitely getting pinned on you!
like a bug to cardboard!!
you're the one who brought it up!!

the bag is all yours!

i refuse to take responsibility for your fake flirting

i was just messing with you.
you didn't have to bring up the books because of it!

aaaaaaaaalllllllllllll yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

nah
still not my fault

nah, definitely your fault.

anyway, so how is everyone over on your end?
anything exciting happen?

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