prank #44 | text

[ghostytrainer]

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e





holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

Comments

[ghostytrainer]

no you forgto it.
you can't see it but i'm diong the jedi mind trick hand wave thing at this very monment.

that was not the text you wnat to remeber.

*totalu obi wan right now with thehand*

[tentacletrainer]

...if you say so.
And are you?
Doesn't that only work when your victim can see the hand motion?

[ghostytrainer]

i am. yse.
i am also such and amaznig jedi that you don't even NEED to seee it.
you've totaly already forgotten, admit it.

because i am an awseome jedi.
anakin dons't have shit on me.

[tentacletrainer]

I don't think I can until I see the hand motion.

[ghostytrainer]

omfg fnie!!

[As requested, John switches from text to video even though he really probably shouldn't. Though he did keep his promise of staying out of trouble while Rose was gone, he's obvious that he hasn't been taking care of himself. The only light in the room is the bluish glow of an off screen TV. None of John's Pokémon appear to be present, not even Casey. John himself has fashioned something akin to a cocoon out of blankets and is sitting in the middle of the bed. Judging by the dark circles beneath his eyes, it's been a few days since John had a decent night's sleep.]

[His eyes are wide as he waves a hand slowly in front of the screen, Doing his best Obi Wan Kenobi impression, which is pretty damn good if he does say so himself.]

That is not the text you want to remember.

[tentacletrainer]

[[On her side of the screen she frowns. He looked awful...and where was Casey? She was never put away...]]

...John.
Please go to sleep sweetie...

[ghostytrainer]

[John leaves it on video because frankly he's just too damn lazy to switch back.]

I already did that! Like...a couple hours ago. I think. I'm fine!

[tentacletrainer]

You aren't sleeping well enough.
Have you seen yourself lately?
Where's Casey?

[ghostytrainer]

I'm sleeping fine! It's only been like...what, two days? You worry too much!

[Ignoring that last question.]

[tentacletrainer]

Where's Casey.

[ghostytrainer]

She's sleeping in her ball right now, jeez where did you think she was? Like I could abandon my precious Pokédaughter. That's downright unthinkable!

[tentacletrainer]

Why is she there?
Why isn't she sleeping with you like always?

[ghostytrainer]

Because she was misbehaving. Why does it matter, Rose? Like what does this really have to do with anything?

[tentacletrainer]

Because it's weird, John.
You never put her away.
She was misbehaving?
How bad was she exactly?

[ghostytrainer]

Not really bad or anything. Just... enough for a time out, okay? It doesn't matter!

[He sounds like he's starting to get a little irritated.]

I haven't heard from you in... what? [He looks up, tapping on his fingers and clearly trying to recall just how many days it's been since Rose left.] Err...

[What day is today?]

[tentacletrainer]

It matters to me, and in a while I know.
I've been counting the days.

[ghostytrainer]

Then you understand the point I'm getting at here, right? This is the first time we talk in a while ad this is what you want to talk about?

[tentacletrainer]

When it quite possibly concerns your well being?
Yes.
It is.

[ghostytrainer]

I'm fine, Rose! So there's no point in talking about Casey anymore, because like I said: it doesn't matter!

[tentacletrainer]

[[Finally she at least switches to audio.]]

No you're not. You haven't slept long enough. You look absolutely awful. You're sitting around in a darkened room in a bundle of blankets without Casey.

[ghostytrainer]

The room is dark because I'm watching a movie, duh! And I already explained where Casey is and why.

But I got plenty of sleep back home! Too much, even.

[tentacletrainer]

You still need to sleep now, John! You are going to get sick!

[ghostytrainer]

No I won't! Sleeping just makes everything worse, okay?

The bed is cold and lonely and I keep being reminded of things that I really just want to forget and not think about ever but apparently that can't happen now that I dream like a normal person again!

[tentacletrainer]

Yes you are! I'm sorry you're having nightmares, John, but you are going to get sick if you do not get enough sleep. Have you tried asking your ghost pokemon for help? I am sure at least a few of them could assist with the nightmares.

[ghostytrainer]

[John pulls on his face with one hand.]

Dammit, why did I tell you that? I haven't asked anybody for help because I don't need help! And I feel fine, so obviously I am getting enough sleep.

[Only he's not.]