ghostytrainer | prank #44

Current Location: saffron inn

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prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]

ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e

holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.

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shit!
macarena*

hahahaha oh wow you really just did that
you totally just proved the immaculacy of your spelling skills
i am so convinced!!!!
i pronounce you johto spelling bee champ its clearly your calling
:p :p :p :p :p

(i am glad you are back then!!
insert friendship chat symbol here
also yeah that sounds sucky
to a point we cant control it either i guess
at least by the laws of inevitability in paradox space
but lets not get into that and not even bother saying we did)

if there's nto a crown with little hapyp bees on it to go along with that title than i am not interested.
but if there is, then brgin it i am the champ of bees.
screw trying to become pokekmon master or that heir of breaht crap. because you are right, spellng bee champ is what i was born to be.
it is so obvious now.

that being said though, i'm sorry for all that stuff i saiad the other day. :(
i feel really bad about it and i was going to call you the next day to apologize but i wasn't realyl sure what to say?
and then some other stuff hapend and wait what day is it even?
monday?

[No, John, it's technically Wednesday. But nice try, thank you for playing!]

anyway i'm sorry i fogrot we were friends and that i was basically a gigantic douchwaflel.
you did scare me bak home but i know better and you are still totally my favorite aradia and we're friends for life.
just please don't try and blow up johto or othersiwe make it call apart or anything like that because that wuold suck. :(

are you upset about the heir of breath crap
is that why youre awake at stupid o clock in the morning
i think thats the correct term
also yes
should we host our own spelling bee
i can enlist kanaya to make a crown with happy bees even

and it is completely okay :)
we are friends and friends are allowed to do stuff like forget one another sometimes
also its wednesday
youre not proving your not needing sleep case btw

im sorry for scaring you!!
also i wouldnt blow it up!
i like it here
and you know its pretty cheerful
and im pretty sure i dont have the resources to blow shit up anyway so

(im kidding)
(that was a joke)

what no! of coruse not.
i mean my powers were prety cool, i miss them.
i am upste about not having them and also that i couln't really work on my heir of breath crap backhome.
typheus went back to sleep once jade adn i went through the windo.
it was dumb, i think workng on wahtever my big windy destny is would have helped pass the time.
and also probably maek me stronger and more usefull? idk.
i am akwae because sleep is overrated.

fuck really?
when did wednesday hapen.
what.
(also i still feel bad. nobody else forgot so it's hard not to feel like a lame, losery mcbadfriend douchenuget.)

yes, good.
don't go over to the darksdie, aradia. they may have cookies but it's so not wroth it.
and i can offre you better cookies on the side of the good guys.

i am sure the only reason you didnt focus on that
was because it wasnt the proper time
trust me
if you had then youd probably be a doomed john
and everyone knows you are the superior john of johns
and ive met a lot of johns so you should take my word for it!!

i would say it happened today!!!
(yeah but no one else had as many memories as you silly!
they just had minor memory updates
you were sort of the furthest behind
and then you just had to go leapfrog ahead of everyone :T
at least dave is representing the good name of time players everywhere by being properly ahead of stuff)

wait since when did the dark side have cookies
no one told me about this
why wasnt i told about this
maybe i should join team murder everyone after all!!!

would you really make me actual cookies though

bluuuhhh!
what you're sayign makes sense and is probably true.
but it sitll sucked. that whole trip was basiaclly balls.
there were some good pionts, i mean it was cool to spend time with jade.
sibling bonding and al that.
but overall it was carp.

it's just my luck thoghu.
things can never go the eays way. or the way tha makes sesne.

they havealways had cookies but they are bad cookies. like
you thikn those are chocolate chips but they arent.
they're probably rabbit poop. or someting like that.
so it's totsly not worth joining team bad guys.

yes i will actualy make you cookies.
cookies that do nto have poison or turds or razors in them.
good cookies.
best damn cookees you ever ate.
like straight up crockbert kitchen miralce in your mouth cookies.

haha carp
now youre making unintentional fish puns you realize
but yeah i can see how it might get boring
being on a ship with the same people i mean
the meteor was sort of dull
and frustrating
but i was also still dead so you cant really take my word for it

also i thought wed collectively agreed that sgrub/burb doesnt make sense
in our previous conversations
(i mean it makes sense but we dont know enough
or those of us who do cant explain it because reasons)

i guess technically i have already eaten dark side bad cookies
lets not repeat that

okay i am holding you to this
as soon as i hit kanto you owe me cookies john egbert!!!

ahahahaha shit.
and feferi isn't enve here to appreciate them. what a bummer.
u.s.s. snoresville is bascilly what it was.

yes, i kno. but it was more of a jotho thing this time.
not that johto always makes sense either.
but you know, why could't i have been mreo like rose and dave?
gradually move foreard. you know, only maybe a year at a time.
not three in one go!!!!!!!!
is that too muhc to ask? apparenly.

well yeah thoes were boswer cookies and he's an evil dickbag supreme.
so see?
seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
no darkside cookies they are bad.

i am making note of thsi right now.
so i won' forget.

IMPROTNAT! DO NOT FORGET TO MAKE FUCKMAZING HERO COOKIES FOR ARADIA!!
DOWN WIHT THE DARK SIDE!!!!!

i have made the note.
even if i skip another ten yeras i will remember this.
the cookies will be yours.

i will appreciate it in her stead for now
though if you really want to be appreciated throw in some time puns
or some maid puns
those are the best kinds

well if youd just fallen into a memory coma instead of a regular coma that one time
maybe that would be the case!
but no
you had to have a normal coma! :p

yeah he was kind of a jerk
i think he left though
at least i havent seen him around recently
and he was kind of loud

i wont let you forget anyway!
but if theyre not amazing i get to join the dark side right
thats what im getting here

did you stick the note on something

maybe i will!
but olny when...

wen.................................

the time is right. B)

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEE.

that wasn'tmy fault though!
i didnt ask to go coma. eithertime, actually.

i haven't either. not complianing if that's the case.
he can stay gone.
but i am disapointed that i nevr did manage to get the pokemon he stole from me back.
hopefully they escaped if he realy is gone. :(

that wont' happen because they will be the best godanm cookies i ever made.
you'l have to beat rose awya with a stick becase she'll be jealous and want to steal them.
probably dave too.

yes i did stick the note on soemthing.

Attachment: seelook.png

ahahahaha yes perfect!!!
or even
YES PERFECT
its perfect enough to break my habit of capslock okay!!!

maybe
are we sure you didnt pray to the coma gods john??

:( sorry about that pokemon
hopefully they did escape
or perhaps will at least find their way back to you?

i can beat them both away with a stick
i will practice my stick beating skills
although they should realize how important it is i get these cookies
to keep me on the not dark side
and also because they are special!
you should be my patron human john
keep me on the side of the light!
also teach me more about pranks

hahahahhaha oh my gosh
down with the dark side indeed!
btw i like your shirt :D
i want one like that its adorable

thankyou, thank you, i will be here all night.
B)

unlses praying to the coma gods is something you can only do in your sleep than i am sure.
but consideing they are coma gods, this might be how you do it.
so maybe i did on acidnet?

i hope so...

i will explain it to thme.
you abslotly cannot have darth megido on our hands that would be bad!!!!
if becoming your patron human will prevent htis, then i shall become just that!!
i will teahc you so many things. about being a pranksetr and also a jedi.

thank you. it is pretty much my favrotie shirt.
the haunter glows in the dark, which you probably can't tell becase i have been watching movies in the dark the past fwe hours so it coldn't absorb any light to do the glowy thingy.
i had to buy a new one though because i grew so much atfer i woke up!
my old one dind't fit anymore and it was sad.
i thikn though now i will have to go buy another one. and send it to you.
so we can mathc that would be cool.

i would suggest otherwise but this is fun
so i wont suggest you go to sleep again :p

that seems logical
i mean youre closest to the coma gods when you are near a coma probably
and sleep is nearer that then being fully aware and awake??

[ ...IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD GO TO SLEEP. ]

of course you cant
unless you want to lose!
ill have you know im very effective in games
does this make me a prankster padawan
thats how jedi work right
or am i
a humanadawan
a trolladawan

okay theres not a joke that makes sense here but pretend there is

it glows in the dark????????
that makes it the best shirt ever!!
you absolutely have to buy one and send it to me
i will pay you back
and i will wear it immediately
although kanaya will probably sigh at me i will still wear it!

:D

yes. exactly.
i think thsi is a safe bet to make.

so then would you sya that you are...

maid of win? B)

[He is on a roll tonight with the pun thing only not really.]

prankawan? maybe?
idk. i willpretend it makes sense.
but yes, thtis how jedi work.
see this si why i have taken you onas my... patronee?
err...however taht works.
you get the refernces. this is whyy ou're the best.

I KNOW RIGHT????!?!
psshh you don't have to pay me back, itscool.
it can be a supre late birthday present becase i suck and nevre did get you an actual presnt.
it will be a sigh of jaleousy. because she does not have what is argualby the best shirt ever.

[ john is so lucky that aradia likes bad puns. if this were audio, he would hear her cracking up, possibly while kanaya blearily asked what she was doing up from the other side of their shared hotel room.

sadly this is not audio. ]

yes
yes i would say that
would you say perhaps that you are...

made of heir?
8)

prankawan sounds cool so go with that
also idk how the patronee/patron thing works entirely
karkat basically told us to troll people and people picked humans to focus on
well
i mean you know vriska terezi karkat and tavros did
sort of
but most of us told karkat we didnt want to so we didnt
i went on record as saying i thought it was stupid
which is sad because i would have liked to talk to you guys!
well
i wouldnt have liked it then but im sure in retrospect it would have been nice to look back on

its okay about the birthday thing but far be it for me to turn down a free amazing shirt
also it will entirely be that sigh
rather than a sigh of exasperation

ahahahaha my head might be!
my head mght in fact be full of heir.
8P

yes. i kno first hand all about how vriska did tat thing.
the parton thing.
in fact i daersay nobody knows better than me!!
excetp for maybe virska herself.
wait didn't kanyay do it too?
i'm pretty syre she did.
but tbj the whole think was a little stupid. at least that's what i htought at first.
but we got to be friends with you gyus out of it so
i guess
it was not actually all that dumb in the ned.
but katkar's reasoning was.

no it's not ok!! you shoohsm.
but yes. totaly.
maybe we should find a really cool shirt for kanaya too. i don't think she realy likes ghosts all that much though?
isn't she morei nto like
flowers? the grassss types?

why are heir of breath and maid of time so much more punnable than other things

yes sorry kanaya did it
haha its late i blame that
to be honest i didnt see the point
except for the part where it was inevitable and had to happen
but
you know
i didnt see why we had to sit there and insult you as we were all d00med
i did my old quirk there for emphasis
it seemed pretty pointless and kind of silly!
even though if it hadnt happened i guess i would have ensured it
or did i
i died a lot im unsure but anyway

yes she likes grass types and flowers!
maybe bellossom
bellossom is pretty right

i think it's becuse we are already puns to begin with.
pun tier.
i mean it's lke what are you? made of time?
and... something braeth of air. like that's a thign you need to take.
or something.
ok that one coud have been better, but you get what i mean. haha breath of air.
most titles don't work like that! i mean witch of space? come on noe.
dave and jaen kinda sorta liek...
that time of night.
made of life, but that's not relly actually a saying like made of time.
so they're like honorable mention pun tire.
not quite as cool as us but still cooler than everybody else hwo wishes they could be punstastic like us. B)

the insults were kind of unneeded, yes.
espeiclaly like...when they did it before we even started playing?
that was really confusng and i can't say i was fond of the deaththreats.
...both of which came true, now that i think about it. wow.
slowpoke.gif

bellosom is pretty, yes.
there are lots of pretty grastypes!
cherrim is relaly pretty when it's sunny outside.
when it's rainy thouh it gets kinda sad looking. :(

its a highly envied and coveted tier
theyre all jealous of our pun tier
(i just spent two minutes trying to figure out why jelaous looked wrong
thats pretty sad
but its okay i fixed it)
yes a breath of air is a thing you have to take john
it would be pretty bad if you didnt take it
!!!!
never forget
not that forgetting to breathe is a thing you can do normally
but yeah i cant think of one for witch of space
or sylph of space
their classes just arent that punny!!!
i guess with space you could be all youre in my personal space or something
but it just doesnt have the same zing
were zingy
yes i agree we are the coolest!!!

[ this conversation absolutely isn't proof to the contrary nope ]

hahaha actually i think that backfired??
like if karkat had really wanted us to undermine you
wouldnt it have been better to troll you when you started playing
rather than giving you like your entire lives to get used to non sequitor insults
thats not how you run an intimidation campaign
haha which people gave you those
one was terezi i expect right?
she always carries through on her threats
its one of the cool things about her

and yes exactly i am sure she would wear a pretty grass type shirt!!!
and cherrim is the saddest when it rains :(
its a pretty big transformation kinda
its nostalgic

i am vrey good at breathing!
like gosh, wow. what a talnet i have and it's not even a clas thing.
poor spac playres. doomed forever to not be as colo as pun tier.
oh oh though.
though there is one that lkie...fits the format.
idk if it's acutlly a class though, probabyl not but............
a waste of space.
hahaha!!! 8D
that's kidn of a sad one though, i really hopw that's not actually a class.
that would be terrible and i would feel bad for anyboby who's grand master density title was "waste fo space".

yes, one was terezi.
but she only kiled me in a doomed offshot so idk if that really counts?
you probably met him. since you know like...ALL the ghosts.
maybe he was the one who datd vriksa.
who, incandentnally, is the other one who killedme.
but i god tiered! so... that one might also potentally not count.

it really is! i was surprised the first tiem i saw sia on a rainy day.
it actualy kinda scared me for a sec, i thought something was really wrong!!
i didnt realiz how literal the pokedx was about thewhole folding up thng.
but yes...we will have to give this some more thought.
maybe we can aslo attempt to make it a more fashionabel shirt?? somehow????

[Lord help us...]

perhaps you should give breathing lessons
for all those people less good at it then you
and yes those poor space players
and also yes thats probably a little sad
and also a bit mean!!
also im not sure that is something i would ever say to any of the space players i know
for a variety of reasons
i dont thing its a legit class though so you dont need to worry

i think that counts
doomed selves are still selves
and actually yes i did know that john :)
hes the one vriska dated i do believe
and idk if that one counts
seeing as how the motivations were probably different
basically you got scourge sistered though
tought luck

i was worried too :(
ummmm
how would we make it more fashionable
like are you saying it would have a non glow in the dark pattern of an unhappy cherrim
and then when it glows in the dark itd be the happy one??

[ how does one fashion ]

i wuold give the best breathing lessons.
ebcause i am basically a pro at breatgni.

yeah, she had
actually, let's nto talk about vriska and wyh she indierect-killed me.
or about vriksa at all.
that sounds like an a-plus idae to me.

i... i don't know if that is acutally possible but that'd be cool if it was?
i am not
ok i'm not relly sure what i am talking about att all anymore, tbh.
i think, maybe is shoudl finalyl..
take everyones' advice/keepm y promise to rose and maybe go to sleep.
and you might want to consider it too.
you mispelled tough. :P

ill give you a gold star

we dont have to talk about anything you dont want to

and also do not have to talk about anything because
in all honesty
sleep sounds pretty good
but i think i want it on record i can slpell better when tired than you can
if we ever have to send out a help message on like idk
no sleep
im the one who gets to type it

night john :)

[Good because he does not want to talk about Vriska at all even though he really probably should.]

good night aradia.

also, confesiion: it's been 4 days aprnetly.
since the lats time iactually like sletp for more than a few hours at a time.
so tis is like... super tired typing.
i'm not always this bad when i'm tird!!!
also i am nevr doing this again hoyl shit.
my brain kinda feels like a waterflal rn.
which iam thinkging is a bad thing, so yes. good night i will talk to you later. :)

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text; REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE GOT YOU ALL KILLED AND GOT KANAYA TO KILL - oh wait nvm

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