ghostytrainer: (pester pester!)
John Egbert ([personal profile] ghostytrainer) wrote2013-06-25 11:50 pm

prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]


ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e





holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.
eclectictype: (ᴛᴇᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ)

[personal profile] eclectictype 2013-06-29 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
well stop being mad at me!!!!
dont you think that i regret my own decisions sometimes or get frustrated too???
i only had to pilot the ship all by myself, watch over the planets and deal with davesprite being a feathery asshole!!!
what is it, john, whats wrong?
moveslikestrider: Art by archaeoghost (Find your reality.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, that would just be rude. How would you like if he randomly asked about your dick. Just hey dude, you still got your dick as a god? Are you the eternal bun creator. And way to focus on butts. I have a lot more attractive features than just my ass.

[He gasps and hangs back a little so his butt is out of view.] Is that all we Daves are to you?? Round rump flesh?
eclectictype: (ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛ)

[personal profile] eclectictype 2013-06-29 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)



home is scary, john
all of these changes we are going through
and then there are people asking me if i am still all dark and evil like i was the last time they saw me
i dont want to believe that something like that happened to me but!! i cant just assume that karkat was lying either
he wouldnt do that
i wish i did not leave you all alone in this world either
i wish i could have just STAYED instead of coming back and not remembering anything
john, tell me, does this have something to do with why i have not seen or spoken with rose since you all woke up again?
she mentioned something about a hangover and...that is definitely not the rose i know
she HATED her moms drinking
did you have a fight?
moveslikestrider: Art by <lj site="tumblr.com" user="viivus"> (at least play the part)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
So you got an issue with ghosts having rumps. What's so wrong about them having backsides? If they don't have connecting parts, why not let them have that as a consolation prize. [He pauses and imitates a news reporter.] We had to sacrifice your fun zone, but you've still got the perfect ass.

You're the envy of any modelling company. Well, would be if humanity wasn't in a mass grave.
islandshore: (... let's not go there)

[personal profile] islandshore 2013-06-30 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
You know what's even crazier? Some Pokémon that can't learn fly can still fly you around, like Garchomp. And then you've got bugs like Scyther and Butterfree who have wings but for some reason can't learn the attack while Volcarona can.

What's with the huge text dump, anyway?
seasidecherry: (nice to meet you!)

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[personal profile] seasidecherry 2013-06-30 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. That is definitely a lot of cake! I like sweet things, but I think anyone would get sick of baked goods for a while with that many cakes in the house. I get what you mean about there being something relaxing about it, though.

It's why I always wear the hair ribbon my mom made me, no matter what I'm doing - when I'm up on the stage or what. It's a reminder that she's always with me, no matter what. Even though I'm really glad Chieri's here, it's different.

Mm. I know what you mean. I made friends pretty easily here, but it took a little while for her to get here. It was a little sad, but I'm pretty optimistic. I guess it's just hard to get me down.

...oooooh. Those sound delicious, but...it is pretty late. Are you sure it wouldn't be better to try and make them in the morning, as a special breakfast? Because burning yourself would be pretty awful.

I can sing you a lullaby, if you want.
timelymaid: canon art (! chat icon.)

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[personal profile] timelymaid 2013-06-30 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
i miss flying too :(
also im afraid you cant do the time warp john
thats reserved for dave and i only!!!

just kidding

why are you up
cant sleep either?
impulsives: (pic#5741975)

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[personal profile] impulsives 2013-06-30 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
welcome to my world, now you know how it feels like to have shitty luck.

[Well, he can infer enough that his life back home is full of being teleported everywhere too.]
timelymaid: art by <user name=sooheesprite site=tumblr.com> (+ go on!)

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[personal profile] timelymaid 2013-06-30 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
doesnt count!
you cant control that
you were just doing it randomly werent you
dave and i can actually do the time warp properly
not like someone doing idk the macarena when they should be time warping :p
(not sure if you remember but thats an injoke)
(youll appreciate it later im sure)

oh really!
in that case may i compliment you on your totally awake spelling
its perfection
islandshore: (unsure)

[personal profile] islandshore 2013-06-30 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Or how about Doduo and Dodrio. Those things don't even have wings.

And I'm fine. Just a little restless, I guess. Got time to burn, otherwise I'd consider getting some sleep.
tentacletrainer: (Come again?)

[personal profile] tentacletrainer 2013-06-30 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately I am fairly sure I could quote that text word for word.
I'm starting to feel better, yes. And thank you.
I look forward to trying it. <3
timelymaid: art by <user name=strovi site=tumblr.com> (+ now you're being silly.)

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[personal profile] timelymaid 2013-07-01 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
hahahaha oh wow you really just did that
you totally just proved the immaculacy of your spelling skills
i am so convinced!!!!
i pronounce you johto spelling bee champ its clearly your calling
:p :p :p :p :p

(i am glad you are back then!!
insert friendship chat symbol here
also yeah that sounds sucky
to a point we cant control it either i guess
at least by the laws of inevitability in paradox space
but lets not get into that and not even bother saying we did)

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