ghostytrainer: (pester pester!)
John Egbert ([personal profile] ghostytrainer) wrote2013-06-25 11:50 pm

prank #44 | text

[Hello Pokémon World. It's almost 3 in the morning and who all is still awake at this hour? Aside from John, who hasn't slept (save for occasionally nodding off for a few hours here and there) in nearly five days now. But unlike the past three nights, apparently tonight he's feeling kind of chatty.]

[Too bad he doesn't really have anything worthwhile to say...]


ok so i know there's a shit ton of stuff here that doesn't make a lot of sense.
you know like... how everything lays eggs, even the mammals?
and ghosts? ill nrver get that one at all, even if i pride myself as somethign of an ectobreeder.
and don't even get me started on fly just...
that's dumb.
SO DUMB.
but w/e, do you ever just like...sit there adn really think about some of this stuff?

like zubat.

what is even the deal with those fuckers?
they don't have any eyes. but for SOMW REASON they learn mean look.
how can they give ANYTHING a LOOK, MEAN OR OTHERWISE????
it's like how wooper can learn ice punch.
WIHT WHAT ARMS, I ASK YOU??? i am like 1000% sure you need arsm in order to punch someting.

maybe even over 9000% sure of that.
it is not possible to be more postibve of anything than i am right now about needing arms for punching.

no ok i lied we're gointo talk about the flying thing.
like how does that even work you get the hm and you use it on your bird or dragon or whatever is it just like
OH SHIT SON.
IT'S THAT THING I ALREADY KNWE HOW TO DO.
THE THING I DO BASICALLY EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M A BIRD AND THAT'S HOW I GET AROUND.
BUT NOW I CAN *CARRY YOU*. YOU AND *ALL OF YOUR CRAP*.
what an astounding revelation your pokemon must be having.
okay, all you lucky ducks out there who can read your pokemon's minds or whatever i gotta know.
what's going through your bird/dragon/giant automaton ghost's mind when you crack the fly hm over their heads.
someone get back tome on that.

goddamn i wish i was a poketelepath.
like that would just be the coolest fucking thing. be able to talk to them in your mind and stuff.
crzy mind conversations all day, everyday. with ALL of your pokermon, not just the psychic types.
so.
cool.
only vaguely related, but i miss being able to fly on my own.
i liked it better when i didn't knoe i had powers so i had no idea what i was missing out on. :(
now it's just like "man, john, remember when you had super strength and could do the windy thing and it was basically awesoem? NOT ANYMORE, BUDDY, SORRY."
oh well, i guess.
that's the way the cookie crumbles!

speaking of cookirs, i wonder if it's possible to make literal pancakes.
like using cake batter insread of pancake batter.
but making it ina frying pan on the stove instead of in the oven.
holy shit.
i think i know what i'm goign to do once i'm done watching ghost eraser 3.
dave. dave if you're reading this you should totally come over to my room and help.
we'll do it for scinese.
wait no.

fuck science.
i forgot that science blows and is basically completyl inferior to magic in every way.
let's make kitchen magic, dude. it'll be great.
jade, you can come too even thouhg you think sciende is cool. i won't hold it against you.
even if you're still totally WRONG about that particular issue.

oh but rewind for a sec, let's talk about ghost eraser.
these are actually pretty okay as far as johto moives go. not as good as ghostbusters, sure, but not terirble either.
it's much less of a dissapontment than con dragonair, which is not even close to ebing the same thing as con air which is BASICALLY THE BEST MOVIE EVER, just saying.
i mean they fight a haunted janitor in the first one, pretty damn sweet. in ghost eraser, i mean. not con dragonair, we're not talking about that disappointment anymore.
nope nope.
but it's pretty much impoddible to be a better ghost hunter mobie than ghostbusters.
i m p o s s i b l e





holy shit when did it get to be 3am?
doing the time warp over here or something because i swaer it wasn't that late last i looked at the clock.
ahahahahahahahahahaha.
fuck.
moveslikestrider: (Now I make it.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dave claps John on the shoulder as he leans in close to his ear. In low voice that's as deadpan as it can ever possibly be he says.] And this is why Noah kept two of every animal because if they're bangin' then they're not shenangin'.
moveslikestrider: Art by <lj site="tumblr.com" user="viivus"> (#are you freaking kidding me)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[There was more in that than he ever needed to know and a few nagging feeling he usually ignores confirmed. Last time Jade had been around, they'd been a little awkward at times. He doesn't even think of that. No, his mind latched onto something way more important.]

I wonder if he does have junk. I mean, maybe feather me has bird junk. He looked smooth as a wall down below. I just never thought to ask. Maybe it's just his dick is tucked away until he gets the urge. Probably doesn't have anything. Wow. That would just suck so hard. No relief in sight. Only thing to do is suffer.
moveslikestrider: Art by archaeoghost (Find your reality.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, that would just be rude. How would you like if he randomly asked about your dick. Just hey dude, you still got your dick as a god? Are you the eternal bun creator. And way to focus on butts. I have a lot more attractive features than just my ass.

[He gasps and hangs back a little so his butt is out of view.] Is that all we Daves are to you?? Round rump flesh?
moveslikestrider: Art by <lj site="tumblr.com" user="viivus"> (at least play the part)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-06-29 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
So you got an issue with ghosts having rumps. What's so wrong about them having backsides? If they don't have connecting parts, why not let them have that as a consolation prize. [He pauses and imitates a news reporter.] We had to sacrifice your fun zone, but you've still got the perfect ass.

You're the envy of any modelling company. Well, would be if humanity wasn't in a mass grave.
moveslikestrider: (How we can behave?)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-01 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Who cares. We have cake batter pancakes to make. For science.

[If John flips out about science again he's going to kick him. Right in the shin.]
moveslikestrider: (Now I make it.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-02 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Dave just shoves him back, the exact same way. He's got power behind his, not like John. It's more he relies on his speed to add an extra umph to it.] Wow. What are you trying to do, make pancakes for Barbie?

You want man cakes. Big enough to fit on a plate and feed you heartily for days. Not tiny dots like you're rationing out feed for mice or birds. What's wrong with you??
moveslikestrider: (On the warm banks)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-02 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
That's how fast you're going to absorb those pancakes. Might as well call them tinycakes. Or fairy cakes. Wait are you trying to summon them? You and your magicy magic.

[Counter-counter-counter shove!]

No, dude the person with someone wrong with them is you. You're rambling, a lot.
moveslikestrider: (pic#6333443)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-03 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Hello there Missing-the-point, Ramble D Stride wants you to think really hard on what he meant.

Hint, it's wow you need sleep.

[Counter-counter-counter-counter-counter shove.]
moveslikestrider: (Nobody else can see this.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-04 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
Take it from the resident insomniac, the body needs sleep. If you deny it, you will pass out or hallucinate that Bro is sitting in the fridge with his puppets putting on a rendition of Sesame Street, when you go to grab the aj.

[No shoving now because they have reached the kitchen. After that horrible little statement he grabs a mug and opens the fridge.]
moveslikestrider: (All the)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-04 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Dave stops in mid-reach for the apple juice pitcher. From the way he stiffens, it's clear he's thinking about it. Then he gestures to the fridge and looks to John.] He wouldn't fit. In case you haven't noticed the guy is built like a bear.
moveslikestrider: (going back)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-04 11:11 am (UTC)(link)
He's too big. [Who is he trying to convince? Himself? Hard to say. He snags the pitcher and the carton of eggs.] We cooking or what?
moveslikestrider: (Nobody else can see this.)

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[personal profile] moveslikestrider 2013-07-05 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah she's smacked me with a spoon for it before. [This is what he says to pointedly IGNORE the 'that's what she said' joke about his dad/bro/person who is partially responsible for his existence. Ew. Ew. Ew.]

So. I got the eggs. [He sets them on the counter and pours himself a mug of aj, the said pitcher going into the fridge.]

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