John Egbert
16 October 2012 @ 08:29 pm
prank #34 | text  
i am curious.
for the tournament next month, how are you picking your team?
not asking what you picked specifically, just the thought process behind it.
is it better to go with your strongest or your favorites?
or do you have a different game plan entirely?
it's a lot harder narrowing it down to just three than i thought it would be.
i know there's still plenty of time and i don't have to decide TODAY but the sooner the better, right?
 
 
Current Mood: curious
 
 
John Egbert
05 October 2012 @ 04:18 pm
prank #33 | accidental video  
[The feed clicks on to an extreme close up of a Lopunny's face. She blinks a few times then giggles quietly and presses a finger to her mouth before picking the pokegear up.]

[She takes a quick trip down one of the hallways, the image on the screen jostling everywhere as she half skips, half bounces to her destination: a closed door. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about this door. Though there is a voice coming from the other side of it!]


--ood, Mythtique, perf--- no! Dammit! Do my eyeth looks like dotth to you?!

[The door pushes open to reveal...two Johns? Yes. There are definitely two Johns in the room: one with his back to the door, facing his giggling, dot-eyed copy. Or...well he WAS facing a giggling, dot-eyed copy. After about 10 seconds though, the other John starts to glow and change shape.]

[He becomes...]

[My god.]

[HE BECOMES...]

[A ditto.]


Ugh. It'th not funny, Mythtique! Come on, thtop laughing!

[It takes the blob a minute or so, but eventually it does as asked.]

Okay...let'th try thith again. But get my eyeth right thith time, okay? That wathn't funny the firtht time you did it and it definitely wathn't the third time!

[The ditto snickers but does as told, glowing once more before turning into John. All traces of skin discoloration and stripes are gone, as are his horns. His fangs, though not gone entirely, have shrunk enough that he could probably fit them in his mouth were it not for his overbite. Those, along with his cat-like pupils and blue lips, are the only remaining traces of the outbreak from a couple of months ago.]

Hehehehe! Perfect! Now we jutht need to focuth on teaching you how to tal-- who are you waving at?

[About midway through John's comment, the ditto finally noticed Casey in the doorway and had begun waving happily at both the bunny and the camera. John turns to look at the doorway, frowning and moving towards the doorway once he realizes what his Lopunny is doing.]

Cathey! Turn that off, thith ith highly thecre--

[The feed cuts off.]

((ooc: if you don't want me to type the lisp out, just let me know. Obviously, he'll still be using it ic'ly but if it's annoying/hard/whatever to read, I can easily cut it out for you.)
 
 
Current Mood: mischievous
Current Location: goldenrod city, other house
 
 
John Egbert
03 December 2011 @ 07:00 pm
prank #26 | text  
cut for courier and post length )

((ooc: Responses may come from John, Rose, the birthday boy himself (Dave), or possibly Jade. Some of you might even be lucky enough to get some combination of them. Don't you feel special? Also, save for the second picture, all art was from the following tumblr artists: bananasandguavas, robopolis, kayotics, kerezteny.))
 
 
Current Location: saffron city
Current Mood: determined!
 
 
John Egbert
27 August 2011 @ 11:23 pm
prank #23 | accidental audio [BACKDATED TO THE NIGHT OF 8/26]  
[Do you know the dangerous thing about sticking your pokegear in your back pocket is? Give you a hint, it involves sitting down.]

[If you guessed accidental butt-dials, you would be one hundred percent correct! And that is exactly what's happening right now as the network is graced with the sound of a boy yelping in pain.]


--eoowch!

As I told you, John. If you would hold still and relax, this would only cause minimal pain. Please try and keep that in mind.

I'm trying to, Rose! But that's a lot easier said than--ow--done. Especially since you seem to be a lot better at getting it in than getting it out.

Again. If you would hold still, pulling it out would not be such a challenge.

[There's a sound of somebody (presumably John) taking a deep breath followed by the sound of a body squirming against a sleeping bag.]

Okay, I'm still now. Just...hurry up and pull it out!

Do you really want me to "hurry"? One would think that would simply cause greater pain. But if that's really what you are requesting me to do.

Yes, please just do it quickly. This really kind of hurts and I can't stand how it feels. God, why did we think this was a good idea?

If I remember correctly, you are the one who suggested it in the first place. Something about how fun it would be. Though I do admit, I found it quite enjoyable at first.

Oh yes, it was a lot of fun until the part with the intense pain. That's about when it stopped being fun. And I'm not feeling any pulling...I would really appreciate it if that were a thing you were doing right now. Please.

Now, whose fault was that? If you had listened to my instructions, that would not have happened. I say everything with a reason. Reason being for you to listen. And I apologize. I will commence immediately.

Hey, I do too listen! Every word that falls fr-- FFFFFUCK OW! Oh my god, ow!

[A tiny chuckle.] It's out now.

Still hurts though.

Yes, well, that is an unfortunate side-effect. It will subside soon, I assure you. No offense meant by this, but I do hope you do not require a kiss to make it better.

But Rooooose. [A very fake-sounding whine. Presumably there's a pout to go along with this as well but oh the joys of audio posts.] you have maaagic kisses and I just won't feel better without one~

Perhaps after we've exhausted ourselves and retreated to bed. For now, however, there is a matter yet still to attend to.

Okay, I think I can live with that.

That is a relief to know. Now, take a few deep breaths, relax, and then we will proceed with round two once you feel you are adequately prepared.

[John takes a deep breath and the transmission abruptly cuts off.]



((ooc: IN CASE YOU COULDN'T GUESS...no, there is nothing naughty going on. John just has a couple of big splinters in his hand. And splinters hurt, man. ;n;))
 
 
Current Location: ilex forest
Current Mood: ouch.
 
 
John Egbert
17 June 2011 @ 06:38 pm
prank #19 | video / action for Dave if he's in the hotel room.  
[For once, there is no smile on John's face when he turns on the video feed. Instead there is a look of tired, barely-restrained panic on his face. Also unusual are the stacks of books surrounding him. Someone went to the library. Someone found every book they could on ghosts and legends.]

[Someone stayed up all night reading all those books, and it definitely shows.]

[Barely visible on the couch behind him is a lavender-clad body laid out on the couch. The face isn't visible, but to anyone who knows her, the clothes should be recognizable as those of Rose Lalonde.]


Has... [His voice is the tiniest bit shaky. He's really trying his hardest to stay calm here.] Anyone figured anything out yet? About the people who were taken, I mean? And how to get them back? I talked to a few people about it last night but...heh, it's a different day now, right? [There's a very forced, weak laugh.] I read every book I could find...but they aren't telling me anything more than the pokédex did.

[It's a little late for "don't look in their backs."]

So...yeah. If anyone knows something, I would appreciate it.

[He gives the camera once last slightly desperate look before clicking it off.]
 
 
Current Mood: panicking.
Current Location: Goldenrod Hotel
 
 
John Egbert
05 May 2011 @ 03:03 pm
prank #15 | video  
Was there some kind of Johto holiday that I missed? I found another egg when I woke up yesterday and I have no idea where it came from. It's in the box right now so I can't show it but...if anyone is missing an egg, let me know.

[The egg actually belonged to Clubs Deuce but he has no idea. Anyway, now that that's out of the way he can move on to his second order of business. The real reason he made this post. He holds up a small, red thing.]

I got my badge, Karkat so I'm ready to go whenever ev-- [A loud cracking noise cuts him off mid-word.] Oh shit. [He shrugs his backpack off one of his shoulders, reaching back and opening it up, mumbling something to himself as he roots around in his bag for a second.]

I really hope that was the sound of hatching and not breaking...
Huh? The hell? [He pulls out a square-ish, beige-ish rock with a crack and two dots on it.] Did my egg seriously just hatch into a rock? Is this thing even al--AHHHHH!!!

[At that exact moment, a purple and green something popped out of the rock with a spirited, cackling "TOMB!!!" causing John to flail backwards, dropping the pokémon in alarm. Though it falls off screen for a second, it appears a moment later. Hello, Johto. Have a cackling Spiritomb face all up in your video feed before the now-trembling video feed is cut off with a squeak by a terrified Lopunny camera-girl.]

(ooc: badge was mod approved ♥)
 
 
Current Location: azalea town
Current Mood: accomplished