[The feed clicks on to an extreme close up of a Lopunny's face. She blinks a few times then giggles quietly and presses a finger to her mouth before picking the pokegear up.]

[She takes a quick trip down one of the hallways, the image on the screen jostling everywhere as she half skips, half bounces to her destination: a closed door. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about this door. Though there is a voice coming from the other side of it!]

--ood, Mythtique, perf--- no! Dammit! Do my eyeth looks like dotth to you?!

[The door pushes open to reveal...two Johns? Yes. There are definitely two Johns in the room: one with his back to the door, facing his giggling, dot-eyed copy. Or...well he WAS facing a giggling, dot-eyed copy. After about 10 seconds though, the other John starts to glow and change shape.]

[He becomes...]

[My god.]

[HE BECOMES...]

[A ditto.]

Ugh. It'th not funny, Mythtique! Come on, thtop laughing!

[It takes the blob a minute or so, but eventually it does as asked.]

Okay...let'th try thith again. But get my eyeth right thith time, okay? That wathn't funny the firtht time you did it and it definitely wathn't the third time!

[The ditto snickers but does as told, glowing once more before turning into John. All traces of skin discoloration and stripes are gone, as are his horns. His fangs, though not gone entirely, have shrunk enough that he could probably fit them in his mouth were it not for his overbite. Those, along with his cat-like pupils and blue lips, are the only remaining traces of the outbreak from a couple of months ago.]

Hehehehe! Perfect! Now we jutht need to focuth on teaching you how to tal-- who are you waving at?

[About midway through John's comment, the ditto finally noticed Casey in the doorway and had begun waving happily at both the bunny and the camera. John turns to look at the doorway, frowning and moving towards the doorway once he realizes what his Lopunny is doing.]

Cathey! Turn that off, thith ith highly thecre--

[The feed cuts off.]

((ooc: if you don't want me to type the lisp out, just let me know. Obviously, he'll still be using it ic'ly but if it's annoying/hard/whatever to read, I can easily cut it out for you.)

[It's kind of hard to miss the three very large ghosts, a Dusknoir and both varieties of Jellicent, floating behind John when he turns on the feed today. Though they are hardly the only ghosts in the room. A Froslass floats lazily around the room, occasionally sending a stream of snow at the Dusknoir or the Spiritomb that sits on the floor. Both of the ghosts in question are doing their best to ignore this, though the Dusknoir Seems to be doing a better job of it. On John's shoulder sits a tiny Litwick.]

So if it's been over a year since an ectobiologist actually did something involving ghosts and biology, can he still call himself an ectobiologist? [There is a very slight pause.] No! Of course he can't, duh!

[John pans the camera over to the bed where there is a small pile of eggs wrapped in knitted blankets of varying colors. A Golett sits next to the eggs, eying them curiously. There are probably somewhere around twenty eggs or so, of several different varities:]



So, as you can see, I did something to fix that! [The camera pans back to John.] Now as much as I would like to, I obviously can't keep all these eggs myself. Pretty sure that would max out my PC storage. So I am sell--

[He cuts off as the rock-looking egg with the swirl on the front is shoved in front of the camera. It is followed shortly by the Golett's face. It nods excitedly, looking about as happy as is possible for an animated rock-ghost and points to the egg.]

Giant...

[The Gollet just keeps pointing, spinning the egg around so that it's visible from all angles. Oooo! Aaaaa! you are impressed and you want to buy this egg. But as impressed as you are, the same cannot be said for John who is now trying to push the Golett out of frame with little sucess.]

Giant, come on stop. You aren't helping! Just kind of inturrupting hones-- no Chandel, not you too!

[There's a happy almost squeak-like noise from the Litwick as she flies over to the bed to try and "help" too, john following after her. Though the eggs are much too big for her nubby little arms. It's a shame this part can't actually be seen on film, it's actually quite cute. Before this situation can get any more out of hand, the Dusknoir moves over to the camera, easily moves the Golett out of the way, picks up the camera, and ends the feed. A few moments later, a text is sent out.]

sorry about that.
anyway. eggs, selling them.
i am happy to answer any questions about the parents, eggs, and/or ghost types in general.
here's prices and junk:

[And then there's a list of species, quantity, and egg moves.]

((ooc: Claim post is the aforelinked link. I just didn't feel like posting that list up a second time. There is still a small chunk of unclaimed eggs, so have at 'em if you want 'em.))

[Though John himself is not the one who turned the feed on today (Casey the camerabunny strikes again), he doesn't seem to be completely unaware that he's being filmed. He just doesn't really care because the conversation he's having with his Sandile is far more important, obviously. The two are sitting under a tree just outside of Celadon City and appear to have been there for a while. Pinned to John's over-shirt is a shiny new Rainbow Badge.]

Diiiile!

Nak.

Sandile dile.

No dude, come on. Nnnnaaaakkkk. I know you can do it! Nak nak!

San!

Okay that's...close, I guess. Only not really. Come on, you already know how to make the n and the a sound! Say it with me. Nnnnnn.

Nnnn...

Nnnn...aaaaaa.

Nnnnaaaa...dile.

Good job, Nakadile! You're over halfway there now! Hehehehe. Nak nak nak nak nak nak nak!

Nadile nadile nadile nadile!

[And so on and so forth until Casey feels like turning the 'gear off.]

[Do you know the dangerous thing about sticking your pokegear in your back pocket is? Give you a hint, it involves sitting down.]

[If you guessed accidental butt-dials, you would be one hundred percent correct! And that is exactly what's happening right now as the network is graced with the sound of a boy yelping in pain.]

--eoowch!

As I told you, John. If you would hold still and relax, this would only cause minimal pain. Please try and keep that in mind.

I'm trying to, Rose! But that's a lot easier said than--ow--done. Especially since you seem to be a lot better at getting it in than getting it out.

Again. If you would hold still, pulling it out would not be such a challenge.

[There's a sound of somebody (presumably John) taking a deep breath followed by the sound of a body squirming against a sleeping bag.]

Okay, I'm still now. Just...hurry up and pull it out!

Do you really want me to "hurry"? One would think that would simply cause greater pain. But if that's really what you are requesting me to do.

Yes, please just do it quickly. This really kind of hurts and I can't stand how it feels. God, why did we think this was a good idea?

If I remember correctly, you are the one who suggested it in the first place. Something about how fun it would be. Though I do admit, I found it quite enjoyable at first.

Oh yes, it was a lot of fun until the part with the intense pain. That's about when it stopped being fun. And I'm not feeling any pulling...I would really appreciate it if that were a thing you were doing right now. Please.

Now, whose fault was that? If you had listened to my instructions, that would not have happened. I say everything with a reason. Reason being for you to listen. And I apologize. I will commence immediately.

Hey, I do too listen! Every word that falls fr-- FFFFFUCK OW! Oh my god, ow!

[A tiny chuckle.] It's out now.

Still hurts though.

Yes, well, that is an unfortunate side-effect. It will subside soon, I assure you. No offense meant by this, but I do hope you do not require a kiss to make it better.

But Rooooose. [A very fake-sounding whine. Presumably there's a pout to go along with this as well but oh the joys of audio posts.] you have maaagic kisses and I just won't feel better without one~

Perhaps after we've exhausted ourselves and retreated to bed. For now, however, there is a matter yet still to attend to.

Okay, I think I can live with that.

That is a relief to know. Now, take a few deep breaths, relax, and then we will proceed with round two once you feel you are adequately prepared.

[John takes a deep breath and the transmission abruptly cuts off.]



((ooc: IN CASE YOU COULDN'T GUESS...no, there is nothing naughty going on. John just has a couple of big splinters in his hand. And splinters hurt, man. ;n;))

[There's a somewhat baffled look on John's face as he holds up an orange-ish disc emblazoned with a small 35 in front of the pokégear. On his shoulder, sits his loyal Dunsparce, Sassacre, staring at the small communication device with a blank a look as ever on his face.]

So I bought a few TMs and uh... [He pauses to give the disc a very pointed look.] Okay, basically how in the hell do these things work? Are they supposed to like...eat it or something? Because I'm not seeing any other way to insert a disc into a living thing.

[Somebody forgot to ask about it before he left the department store. Oops. He makes to turn the pokégear off, but stops, suddenly remembering something.]

Oh and...this might be old news, but Aradia has gone back home. I found her Kabutops in my box when we got back to Goldenrod.

( Text; Filtered to Rose Lalonde )

[Since John was finally starting feel a little better (his voice was still a little messed up but hey, at least that cough was finally gone) he decided that this was as good a time as any to do a little training with the Wooper Dave gave him last week.

So he's on route 32, standing in a patch of grass with a disheartened look on his face. His Dunsparce is sitting on his head looking derpy as usual and his Buneary is rolling around happily in the grass a few inches away. Apparently he still doesn't fully understand the concept of keeping all his pokémon in their pokéballs.]

[His Wooper though...is supposed to be fighting a Mareep, although that's not what's happening.]

Rose, please...use mud shot.

[The Wooper ignores him with a very bored look on her face. This has been going on for the past five minutes, even the wild Mareep isn't sure what to make of this at this point.]

Rose...pleeeaaaassseeeee. I am begging you. Do...something! Anything!

[Woop. She is so bored by all of this. John is past the stage of disheartened now and now entering the realm of utter soul-wrenching despair.]

...Flighty Broad...Please. Use. Mud shot.

[The Wooper complies, and then continues the rest of the fight without her master's direction as he had sunk to his knees in defeat. It's really tough to say whether there has been a victory here or not.]

[When the video feed clicks on, it is to a scene of John in his hotel room haphazardly throwing stuff into his bag. Clearly, he's not the one operating the pokégear. since he only has one pokémon with actual appendages, it's pretty obvious that Tripp the Pidgey is the cameraman at the moment.]

Okay...Vriska, Aradia, Gamzee, Eridan I don't feel like trying to track all four of you down so hopefully you'll all see this. Rose just made it to Cherrygrove so we're ready to go if you four--

[A semi-loud crack from a source somewhere off screen stops him mid sentence. He looks over his shoulder towards something that can't be seen from the current camera angle.]

Oh, no way.

[He drops his bag to the floor and walks off screen. It takes Tripp a minute to adjust the camera so that John's visible again, but once he manages it, it becomes obvious what distracted him: his buneary egg is hatching. It takes a few moments for the tiny creature to fully extricate itself from its egg, but when it does...]

OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!

[John picked up the small pokémon and proceeds to flip the fuck out. He is basically dancing around that room make strange unintelligible shrieking noises of joy. His Buneary doesn't seem to mind and is actually making happy little squeaky noises as well. There's no way half the inn isn't hearing this shit.]

[The video feed cuts off.]

[A video feed clicks on revealing a picture of...the ground. A pair of bright red sneakers with flames on the side are also visible peeking out from under a pair of dark jeans. A Dunsparce crawls into frame and stares(?) up at the camera curiously(?).]

Okay I think this is on...uhm. Hi everyone! It's John, and I finally made it to Cherrygrove! Aradia showed me how to use the video function, so this time you can actually see me instead of me typing all this out. Isn't that great!?

[A Pidgey joins the Dunsparce on frame, also looking up at the camera with a look that can only be described as exasperated. Clearly it does not approve of this utter failure of a video.]

Yeah, this is great. Except...I don't really have much to say. The trip was pretty much uneventful. I caught a Pidgey though! I named him Tripp after Matthew McConaughey's character in Failure to Launch. You know, because he's a bird. Failure to Launch. Bird. Get it? Haha! Come over here Tripp so they can see you. Come on.

[The Pidgey gives John (who is still off-screen except for his shoes) an 'are you serious look' and doesn't move.]

Okay well it looks like he's feeling kind of camera shy right now. Same with Colonel Sassacre...what are you both doing down there anyway? Okay well whatever, that's really all I have to say at the moment. Vriska if you're still in Cherrygrove I guess I'll meet you at the inn or something. You did wait for me, right? Right?!

[The video feed clicks off.]